-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.
Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.
+ Cheng Wee Chuan William
+ Yu Neng Primary School
+ Bedok South Secondary School
+ Ngee Ann Polytechnic
+ Republic of Singapore Navy
+ zazooosg@hotmail.com
+ 08/10/1989
+ Libra
Friday, July 28, 2006
ellox!!!
back again after so many days LOL
its actuclly kinda nice to noe that theres people who actuclly reads wad i write LOL
well my sincere apology lol coz my blog hell lot of crap de
coz me i tend to think alot and reflect alot on things etc...
which is actuclly a good and a bad thing...
but hey hey even though i'm like that i'm still physically me!
the socialable laughable nice guy hahaha(*Puke*)
sumtimes its juz sort of like TCP/IP de collision....
where wad i think collide wif wad i believe
hmm kinda complicated....luckily for me its not affecting my daily life...I HOPE!!!
okok enuff wif all this crap hahaha
anyway i'm gonna move stright to today!, skipping all the other days hahaha
the days starts wif wif class at 11am... but i'm in sch like 8.30am
dragging myself to sch.... lol for the past 3 days i've been slping like less than an hour.
its surprising that i'm still alive and awake!!
went to sch studided did some test lol and notes etc....
now left wif 1 webtutorial for eltech, MOL complex number revision
and alot alot alot practice for all my upcoming test and practical....
the odds are seriously stacking up....
hahah okok lets not go on bout that....
well the scariest thing bout today is i had eltech practical test...
hmmm it shld go well i think....I HOPE!!!
after that went to lan wif my frens they all in canteen 2...
then meet up wif the ninjado people lol
we then set off to haf dinner lol
was suppose to watch movie but then we changed plans...
we tapao subway then head over to kallang river there, arnd the indoor stadium there
sit by the side and TKS(tok kok session)
after that we walk over to the stadium LOL
and well dawn was like SOOoooooofascinated by the changing lights arnd the stadium LOL
hahaha well least we noe next year her bdae buy her wad liao...(neeon lights thats changes color)
LOL
okok then we head over to take pics etc LOL
hmmm there was me, jeremiah, dawn,beesim,joyce,derrick,JQ,victor and kangling(erm correct rite?) lol correct me if i'm wrong hor!!!
anyway i had a realli good time today LOL
and dun worry bout me staring into space looking serious lol
sumtimes i juz look at sumtin or sumwhere... it brings back memories
good and bad ones LOL then at the same time i tend to thing bout things arnd me and things happening....kinda like my mind going wild, but i'm fine i guess.....its always been like that =)
hahaz k gtg... THX for today k =) i realli enjoyed myself =))
see ya all soon take care
p.s beesim send me the pics pls LOL
9:06 AM
Friday, July 21, 2006
____Success comes only if u try hard enough_______
hey hey... hahaha
bloggy lol
think i really got to give ya a new skin liao LOL
soon soon....
hahaz today i had a both fun filled and well at the same time angered day
went to sch for my usual friday lesson....
everything was okie till IN1
haiz teacher was saying like in class he only respect this 2 student...
saying that the rest only noe how to play game, tok and copy answers....
that really hit me rite in the heart....
okie i'm actuclly i beri sensitive person but wif a certain lvl of tolerence
i learned in physics"theres no such thing as zero tolerence"read from a book i think.
haiz... nvm lah i'm sure he didn't mean it....
okie after that i went library... my mood was totally off....
i think i actuclly neglected my frens when i'm in the library....
hope they understand that well i'm juz moody over sum things and i keep silence to myself
becoz i dun wan to later offend anyone or wad... frens are important to me...
i wont wanna do anything to harm or hurt them in any way....
okok after that when to play pool wif derrick(my ninjado senior) and victor(also my ninjado fren, can consider senior also)
hahaz had fun even though i didn't win much... did learn sum new things from them =)
thx guys hahaz ya lighten my mood up =)
after that we actuaclly wanted to go play pool, derrick went to draw some cash and at the atm
he suddenly become serious and say " i got 1 k missing in my bank account" " william ya got bring laptop rite?, later back sch lend me i wanna check my bank account"
hmmm money is a very sensitive issue... muz always be careful de hor...
okok after we checked... well i wont go into details k
we play NFSMW on my laptop...
well bottomline... we'r all pretty good racers hahaha
next we went to meet JQ, raymond and erm one more guy, cant remember his name(erm sry lol paiseh) and had dinner at mad jack...
the food was great lol
next stop we went to see dawn at her working place and had ice cream!!!
hahaz i luv icecreams hahaha
then later we went to take a trek in some forested park or sumtin(looks like bukit timah sia) but i not beri sure the place lol
saw some scopians, glowing fungi, giant ants lol
after that we went home...
it was a great fantastic day =) thx guys and of coz not forgeting the gals...dawn and kang ling(erm correct me if i spell wrong or even write wrong person name okie lol)
====================================================================
back my private sections.... read if u wan but better not hahaha
so far things been okie....but i seriouslly got to buck up my studies....
other things i'm putting aside....
like BGR... well i noe ya dun like me... i dun mind =) most importantly ya dun put the frenships on the line =D okie well i'm glad ya didn't...
juz got to be urself and take care okie...
everyone has their own life.... so juz live it...
dun let others control it....
personally i dun like people telling wad to do....
well except studies maybe....
but if ur gonna order me... u better make sure ur sumone i look up to....
if not dun u ever think i will comply...
more over... nv judge anyone u think u noe.... nv underestimate....
maturity is important....if u think ur gd... then u are... but then if ur gonna show it off to people...
always remember theres always other out there who can do better....
strength is not only from the body... but also from the mind and the soul....
in any fight or challenge... its not about beating up the opponent...or winning....
its about wad u can learn from them....
haiz nvm all that.... anyway next time sch starts.... i'm gonna be the first few to be in class....
coz i wan to sit in a place where i can concentrate....keep my mind forcus on wad need to be learned and done...
some people play games during lectures..... and well u noe me and games... i always plays them to destress... it easily distract me..... and well some peoples.....nvm wont wanna say them out anyway.... i dun wanna lose frenships over some silly blog..... anyway..... i'm gonna change myself for the better.....
signing off
william
11:18 AM
Thursday, July 20, 2006
____i'm dead... i'm really dead!!!_______-
haiz.... hey bloggy.... hmmm today on i'll call ya bloggy....
haiz beri tired juz got back from training...
it was fun =) but becoz of my hand de injury i cant do many of the activities...
haiz then towards the end i felt my right knee straining...
sort of like a knife poking me when ever i exect strength on it...
used to be on my left knee... but anyway i guess it wont kill me...
hope to get well soon hahaha
haiz.... now i'm beggining to feel beri stresss liao... worst part about it...
i play games when ever i'm stress.... and well in my current situation
its a bad thing.....70% of my stress is coming from my schwork etc...
used to enjoy it.... till i got stuck in some chapters....
then it juz started stacking up liao.....
now i feel totally sianzzz liao...
its like i lost my motivation.....
*bang my head on desk*
haiz this cant do.....
i need buck up.....
haiz having a hard time.....
recently i screwed up my maths test and well the online test i also starting to not get it liao....
wad am i gonna do?....
haiz....i juz feel so tired liao.....
tired of everything.....
......
haiz nvm i'll try to pull myself up again....
nothing is impossible....
i'm juz some damn troublesome little imature kid who think too much and dun work as hard....
haiz seaching for way out.....
okie lah enuff crap liao i think u listen also sianz 1/2
hahaz if only ya can tok and teach......
too bad i guesss......
btw think maybe this one or 2 month i'm gonna refunish ya okie.... new backgrnd all that....
signing out
stresss depress turtle.....
william......"strength in the mind, body and soul"
10:33 AM
Monday, July 17, 2006
_____Life is an ever learning journey_________
hey blog...one day i shld give u a name rather than juz blog.....
okok hmmm time flies LOL
it was like yesterday that i juz updated...
anyway... i'm gonna skipped wad ever that happen in between....
okok today starts of wif waking up damn early for S&W...
i dun really like that module loh.... why cant i haf swimming for S&W lol
i dun mind 8 am come sch swim hahahah
okok after that was cats and well good news was my teacher nv come!!!
but then bad news, i heard liddat need make up lesson....plus WAD AM I GONNA DO FROM 10 -6.30?
okok we decided to head to the library(me and my cats group people) and well watch some movies lol and i saw this movie that i wanted to watch since last time lol but old movie lah....
Starship Troopers... and Guess wad? its M18... and non of us was 18 lol.....
so i gave jeslin(erm my apology if wrong spelling) a call and she agreed to help us borrow.
watched the movie.... head to canteen2 meet RH and kanwei lol there nothing much lah juz halfway RH went for S&W make up and kanwei REFUSE to lan wif me hahahah
then later his frens came along lol 3 gals leh lol kanwei!!! not bad LOL jkjk
anyway aftyer when for training, everything was well till the sparring part....
was kinda disapointed wif my performance....fatigue is juz an excuse... i belief i could haf done better....haiz nvm... i got to work my my flex and kicks.... and sway!!! hit my injured thumb again, now totally numb liao.... hope tml okie then maybe evening go see doc or sumtin.
ok lah other than that everything was okie =)
====================================================================
haiz... sumtimes i juz really dun noe myself anymore....
its like i'm becoming a stranger to myself....
i wanna find the source of all my troubles... but the more i think
the more the troubless.....
haiz.....anyway now is not the time for all this... its time to pick up myself and press on!
i haf to work on my studies and cca....
i wan to be the best....the best is wad i'll be....
hard it may sound but impossible it is not...
10:29 AM
Friday, July 14, 2006
____Live to fight another day...theres no shame in defeat if u tried ur best..._____
hey hey....
hows everyone? me i'm okie same as usual.....
ok hmmm update on recent days....
hmmm dun think anything much happened...
oh yea there was pinto's bdae =) had cake in class
bet he didn't see that surprise coming LOL
okok hmmm then on monday training had sparing lol
it was fun =) still alot to practice and learn...
training to be the best.... thats wad i'll do....
strength in the mind, body and soul....
okok enuff wif my crap words of wisedom hahaha
then thursday training was great!!! hahaz
got to lead the run lol hmmm i think i better get to noe the sch better
lucky got ryan beside me telling me wheres wad and well sort of like navigator
thx ryan =)
lol actuclly i think thurs training was well new =)
i like it ahahah especially the horse stance and the stretching lol(too bad my body mass too heavy lol... nvm practice makes perfect =)
oh there was also the hmmm the training that train our alertness lol sort of like monkey see monkey do lol except ninjado style haha
okok bottomline i enjoyed the training =)
cant wait for monday....
hmmm
well tok wif alot of people.... i think i sorted most of my mess in my mind up liao now is chiong my studies and cca hahaha
but at the same time not forgeting my frens and families =)
okok shall write till here
signing off
8:52 AM
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
______wadsMyPurposeHereOnEarth?________
haiz... back again.... some updates....
went to see doc bout my thumb liao... think its gonna be a awhile be4 everything is fully okie...
hmmm also sat went for nicole bdea... at sentosa.... hmmm beri fun lol nice to see all my old frens again... =) sumtimes i really feel i'm part of them more then i'm part of well nvm.....
its juz they noe me well, haiz i donno maybe its juz i was wif them for a long time thats all....
anyway today i feeling beri fustrated.....so fustrated that i almost tore my eltech paper and wanna go home.... haiz.... luckily i didn't... if i did then well all my effort in trying all wasted lol....
donno lah theres juz too many thing goin on in my mind..... some personal, some schwork and alot others stuff....its juz so fustrating......sumtime i really wonder wad the ....my purpose here on earth? nvm..... i cant give up now..... haiz........forget it i dun wanna write anything liao... maybe tml or sumtin then i update bout the past few days.......
hmmm but though everythings so fustrating theres also some things that was well nice... had a short little chat wif wenqi in class during os lol and well after that i feel much relief.... its like shes always the cheerful gal that well nothing really bothers her,( although there Are things bothering her.... shes always looking on the bright side).....her smile brings warmth to anyones heart... cooling anyone de temper.... brightening up anyone de day =) juz wanna say thx hope u stay this cheerful forever =) Jia you!!! for the coming tests and exam and may we all be still in the the same class =)
2:23 AM
Thursday, July 06, 2006
_______SumtimeTheBestThingInLifeAin'tTheNicestThing__________
Back to blog again....
nothing much to say bout today juz another typical day...
nothings change....same routine like last week and the week be4.....
come to sch bout 9.45...hahaz this time i wasn't late.....
went for eltech class.....and GOD!!! i'm really startking to hit a wall in this subject....
hmmm better head home to revise liao....toking bout subject....
haiz sumtin sad happen today....the NRC(Navy Recruitment Centre) Called during lunch....
i looked at the number and tot it was gonna be good news....
but they say..."william, when is ur end of semester exams?"i replied... and they say"william becoz of ur olevel result i cant bring ya in"....
my hopes totally shattered again..... but this time at least they say ...u'll be getting ur result in oct rite... when u get them fax it to me, sgt david...they say i need an average GPA of 2.5....so far mine results are pretty okie...got to work hard liao......
back to sch....today after maths... suddenly kenneth suggested that the whole class pon class....my first tot was... Wad The!!! i stood my ground inist that i head for class wif RH....comon i need the results okie....not becoz i need the diploma for a gd job....but becoz i'm going thru some hard times, my family and me...and well one other way to solve the prob is to do well...i head for class... and guess wad they all turned up... LOLanyway glad they did....we did a web test today... and my results was 85.4% wasn't quite satisfied....but i'm okie... wif it....k gues thats today lol now i'm juz killing time blogging in the library wif some of the class in the room...i look at th room... its too small to fit everyone... so i decided to stay outside...rather than stay in there to occupy the space...
sumtime i really wondered wads my purpose here on earth.....
i'm going thru so much things....its draining on my mind... to some point that i really feel like giving up totally on life....
its not me to give up but then the odds are stacked against me.....
its time i stopped...take a step back....(like how i always tell people) and look at the bigger picture....then sort things out.....my studies is having some problems now....
my social life is also not going as well as i tot it was....
and back home... though everything look okie... but i noe and i can sensed that things aren't going well mostly...
.even though everything is not well.... i'm sure theres others worst than me...
i Will not let this be an obsticle in my reign in LIfe.....so sumtimes when u think life aint good for u... think! is it really that bad?
all i ever wanted is juz people who care.... not those that care only when ur of use to them....its like frens where u can trust... frens where they noe u so well that even a little change they notice....
i'm not the attention seeker kind.... but i cant live without social life.... forget it... why am i even writing this? i'm n ot trying to gain sympathy.... even if my life sux to the core... i alone will carry it on my shoulder...coz only i noe myself best.....i think i'm gonna stop here... coz ......i've been crapping bout the same thing so many time and i still donno wad i'm trying to find or wad i'm saying.....
maybe in time i will understand......
2:12 AM
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
____LifesLikeAPlay...WearAMaskAndLiveOn.._____________
haiz i got to get in the habit of blogging everyday...
its gonna be like my dairy LOL believe me i kept one be4
but well the book was lost be4 i could enter the 3rd entry LOL
okok anyway heres to wad happen the past few days including today...
got to make it fast...then pack up go slp liao...zzzzzz
monday starts off wif dragging my feet to sch
for S&W and guess wad...it was raining.......no games...
physically training.... stretch till sianzzz
k dun wan say bout it liao.....
went for cats... my group did pretty well
juz need work of sum things and we'r perfect hahaha
after that stayed in sch lan till 6 lol then went for cca
cca also stretch till seh....
but well mastered pretty much all my belt de staff liao ....
gi coming soon on monday hahaha(next)
excited hahaha plus next monday got sparring ALRITE(hey dun get me wrong i'm peace loving hahahaz)
k now for today...welll yesterday hahaha(pass 12 liao)
kk starts off wif maths, was early for class
now maths really giving me headach liao....
then WHS... okie lah nothing much to tok
then lunch went for next class early... then lan lol
then eltech was okie.... and wenqi lol time to listen to class liao hahaha jkjk
he fav words to ask..."how to do?" "why?" in mandrain
hahaz laughing thru the whole class lol
okok now after that NO OS YES!!!!!!
stayed in sch wait for peipei then teach her OS
then head home lol while on the way.... she LEFT her HP in the ladies....
by the time she found out we at clementi liao... follow her took cab back lol heng got this kind soul... this gal took the phone and called back LOL
lucky her eh? well becareful of ya belonging liaosk =)
k think thats all lol
====================================================================
sumtime i really feel i wanna noe wad others is feeling and thinking...
beginning to feel going to sch a chore....
i truely wan to noe wad everyone is thinking and feeling... so i could understand them...
be there for them... but guess that not gonna happen... people... please dun change k be who u are... i like u the way u are... stay that way...=0
seaching for purpose...meaning....reasons.....
i dunno wad i'm saying lol juz feel so slppy ....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
k good nite people.... need to go liao...
dun think as if u noe me....
coz i'm not wad u think i am
and i'm not wad ya see.....
ren zhe wu gui
turtlesss
9:00 AM
Saturday, July 01, 2006
_____Tired but i feel its about time i update_________
hmmm the last time i updae was tuesday
alot been happening....hmmm see if i can remember
ok on wed pon half day school
went for navy de seminar(sumtin like army de first interview)
real long...but that persons funny...full of lameness lol
then they also provided lunch buffet HAHAZ
hmmm ove there i met jeslin(erm correct me if i wrong speling)
my cats de groupmate... looks like we'r both off to join the nav hahahaz
hmmm shant tok furthur....
k well the next day nothing muh happened...
had class then head home coz i wasn't feeling alrite for cca...
res at home and the end lol
theeennnn.....
friday......the day that i was looking forward to... coz my best pal coming to see me in NP hahaz
but thennnnn haben even intro him, he got onto the bad side of kenneath...
haiz... he accidently bang onto him....
then be4 he say sry kenneath: "NBCB"
then my fren pissed off liao didn't bother to apologise...
haizzz sianzzzz please lah cantya tok without using all the NB and the CB?
some people dun like it okie....
and juz a small accident u wanna make it so big fusss
abit over reacting eh?
if its u would u wanna say sry if u already kenna scold?
please lah grow up k
k enuff bout that....
after lunch went for class my mood totally no more liao....
partly becoz wad happen....partly becoz i having hard time with class and thinking alot thingsss
but well i'm glad i didn't vent it on anyone...
someone did notice i abit well not in mood....
hahaz sry if i scared anyone....
thx also =) after chatting wif ya on msn i feel alot better liao...
it sure is gd to haf 2 people close to me arnd when ur totally down and well angry LOL
thx =)
went home...slack wif my fren at my hse till late nite, had FX then slp...
kk enuff bout thurs moving on....
k sat... woke up really early....
went for sparring training(extra training) in sch...
it was well tiring...but fun did learn alot....
hahaha next time we spar i'm prepared liao muhahaha
after training head to mac drink and TKS(tok kok session)
then head home liao and now doing OS (SIANNNZZZZ)
hahaz k signing off liao =)
take care ya all love ya all ;)
1:29 AM