-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.

Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

_haiz...in a position where my passion clashed wif my responsibility...__

hey back to update again =)
today was one hell of a hectic day.
wake up early morning 6am to prep for the bukit timah hiking trip
that i told joyce i would go....
but then on my way joyce sms me saying she not going coz she sick....
was like sianzzz but hey if shes sick its best she stayed home to rest =)
however against my advice of resting she insisted on going...
reached sch toooo early....
was wasting my time then suddenly this guy came over
ask me am i free?
he wans show me some magic tricks
well since i'm early why not....
hahaha man this guy is good.... potential magician hahaz

anyway joyced arrived and after some admin staff we head off....
there we met Quan and derrick
well we were late... joyce was worried that quan was angry hahaha
well he wasn't hahaz up we go and down we came....
it was short hahaha i expected longer....
anyway quan wasn't too happy bout the way things were plan... and i quite agree....
hmmmm not saying it was badly planned... but more like... all this event cause joyce to stress over lots of things....
haiz joyce argh joyce.... take good care of ya health and i totally support quan idea of wanting her back in ninjado =)
kk next we went to bras basah... but some items for performance...
visited this wushu shop....
well i was quite fascinated wif everything they tok about hahaha
kk skip skip skip....
buy everything liao head to SMU chat chat abit.....
suddenlt we had this idea of tracking the NKK hahaz (derrick and quan shld noe wad i mean) track erm to plaza sing... waited... and finally saw them....
followed but sadly we lost tracked....
after that i head over to derrick's place
later victor and kang ling joined us
then after that quan came back liao we had dinner then we start discussing bout the performances\

then be4 we left derrick's place.... we tried a little on nanchuku.... its nice i like it hahah firerce enuff haha but well i'm noob at it..... i rather eger o try my hands on sai and start learning ...
k the rest nuthing much liao gonna skip....

haiz toking bout performances....i kinda sad....kinda down....feel as if i let someone down de feeling....
i'm stuck in a position where my passion is one side and my responsibility on the other....
firstly the training and grading by the grandmaster.....
the date clashed wif my 3 day job at expo......
even the RSAF open hse also clashed....
i wan to go the training.... i noe its beri rare of a chance....
but then i cant forsaken my job....coz hopefully the pay for the 3 day is good enuff for me to cover my tis holiday... i really dun wanna take money from my dad....its already bad enuff he has to pay for everything liao.....least cover me till i can get my result and get navy sponsorship...
haiz nvm dun wanna say it liao....
plus sianz loh... damn job tml wan me go down for briefing....
i already give quan my word that i going meet them at 1 liao....
so i haf to leave early..... haiz i feel damn bad.... as if i went back against my words.....
really feel like banging my head now......ninjado is my intrest my passion....its like my family....
its part of me and my life..... half my world revolves rounds it...the other half spread among cars, gaming, frens, family, etc....i feel damn bad when ever i need to miss training.....
toking bout missing.... this holiday i'll be missing 1 tuesday (performance training) and 1 thursday training.....12 and 14 of sept......that would mean this semester i absent 4 times liao.....
juz now was queastion between passion and responsibility... now its queastion between fren,family and passion.....
i hate all this.... why cant everything juz work out without clashing......i wanna satisfy everyone and everything....
bang! bang! bang! my head my desk
haiz nvm.... hopefully things would be fine.....
even if it affects my reputation....its my fault....coz i failed to balance everything out.....
nvm......
anyway.....i juz wanna say..... i will nv forsaken my passion and intrest....
and as for this performance... i will eat,slp,shit performance.....
practice and learn hard......
i'm new and i haf alot to learn... but i'll nv stop trying.....
i noe at times i may be stubbon...brings problem... screw up....
hopefully nothing will coz ya all to forsaken me....
haiz...wtf....juz donno how to describe it lah.....words cant describe wad i wan to say.....

signing off....
awkward feeling damn busted turtle/whale
william
P.S i'm not trying to gain favour by saying all this.....this is my blog... i speak my mind.....regardless anyone sees it.... i noe most people wont see it anyway ....

10:02 AM