-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.

Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

its wed 12.43am...

feeling abit broken down, apart...
haiz sianz lah... juz feel sianz...
well if ur reading this and feeling why i nv call ya or sms to share wif ya the problem...
well kinda feel bad disturb people slp and all...
will tell ya when see ya online or wad de...

well my club is well dieing even be4 i took over...
i tot i could change things i took over tried, and tried...
okie maybe to ya all ya think i juz slack and slack...
but i did think bout things settle things and all...
wad ya expect me to do when i noe nothing and i take over everything?
now that things are so bad...
people leaving and all..
com disappear...
i tot of juz leaving everything and begone...
but after hearing some people tok bout things and give it some tots..
i felt i couldn;t juz let the club die like that or let my juniors down...
even though i feel i failed as a president...
i think i;m unfit for it...
and i in it becoz there no one else...

tried to come out some solutions and plans to sort things out...
discuss wif my senior..really senior de senior, dunno from which batch de.
well i tot he'd agree wif me...
but all i get for my effort of thinking was..
criticism, looking at the flaws of it and throwing the problems rite back at me
wad if this, wad happen that... ya shld do this...
i;m so sick of it...
its bad enuff i haf to brainstorm it all alone dispite it being a com..
now my solutions aint good?
but no one else see this problems and come up wif solution?
i dun blame anyone...
juz really feel f***up that people can juz leave like that...
year 3 busy wif work yr 2 MIA...
its juz so screw up...
now i came up wif the idea of passing on early so the next batch can experience and who noes start a fresh?
wif me guiding behind them....
now he insist i stay on the title and ask them to do the work?
i mean i feel thats unfair...to them...
plus i haf my reasons...
my reasons being the end of year sem... i settled most of the things...
i feel its about time they learn some things and plan ahead...
change the pattern on how things were done be4...

i dunno i juz feel so packed in my brain rite now...
i haf to worry bout my IPD...
not that my team dun noe how to do or wad...
juz they really forget everything...
i seriously dunno how to go on...
looks like i haf to solo it out?
my I&E...
my grp juz wan the easier way out, slack and all...
cant they at least put some effort? some tots into it?

AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHKLHHKL:HIO IO!!!!!!

breaths in breaths out*

am i thinking too much?
stressing too much?
i see all this problems in front of me...!!
i need solutions...
i need competent people...
i need people to care...
feels so god damn alone in this world.....
well as in alone wif this problems....
and cant really get anyone to understands me...
i feel like throwing everything aside....
do wads important...
spend more time wif frens..
familys...
i seldom get to see them now a days...
its always wake up they not home...
come back they aslp....
i dunno i juz hate being alone and all...
even though i feel at peace...
i need/want people to care....
omg wad am i ranting about?....
i need a break...
i juz love hangin out wif frens... haf fun no stres and all....
i mean liek i love to accomplish the impossible... but its juz so AAARRRGGHHH!!!!
brain dead brain dead!!
cant think of anything now...
i shld slp...

logging off....
maybe i'll feel better tml...
reminder to myself.. pls wake up early go poly clinic check my back...

william
wif love...hopefully get loved too....hmmm nah... juz get cared for can liao...
hahahaha
zzz
i guess i'm nutz..

9:43 AM