-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.
Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.
+ Cheng Wee Chuan William
+ Yu Neng Primary School
+ Bedok South Secondary School
+ Ngee Ann Polytechnic
+ Republic of Singapore Navy
+ zazooosg@hotmail.com
+ 08/10/1989
+ Libra
Friday, November 30, 2007
5.50 pm same day as previous post
feeling abit crpped up... was chatting wif a good fren of mine...
well feeling alot beter after that...
a few suggestion she told me...
maybe i shld give it a try eh?
write everything i think or feel down on a paper...
maybe i shld keep a book and pen near by...
at the moment.. i feel regrets...
tiredness...
confusion..
worry...
headache...
bored?...
its quite true someone once told me... if ur doing something which ya not interested in then ur wasting ur time...
well my personal dreams currently i'm going further and further away..from it...
but the fact is in sg... time juz cant be wasted for changing to wad ya wanna do...
i guess theres no one else to blame but myself..
if last time i had done better who noes i would haf got into sumtin i wanted
but sicne i'm already on a path i picked...
i will haf to walk it all out...
alot of things i juz cant seem to put behind me...
why do they juz keep coming back to me all at once?
someone told me... ya haf something that not many haf...
that ur able to forgive wad others done wrong to hurt u..
i ask myself... is that true?
but the things is why muz i haf gone thru it in the first place? so i can forgive them later on?
there muz be something i done to get hurt by others..
i'm starting to feel i'm annoying those around me...
rather then juz be there for them i seem to haf become a worry a burden an annoyance...
maybe thats why from the past till now people juz slowly disappear?
today out of everyone i msg only like 2-3 replied... and only like 1 or 2 actuclly talked..
i think i'm really startign to annoy people..
things aside...
hey people lets go watch movie some time, go hang out, sing song... or juz go for a stroll...
i wont drink or get wasted i promise...
or juz hang out do studies for exams.. juz like old times?
ya noe that really bad thing i dun like about blogging...
ya write as if ur talking to it thinking its the one who understand wad u mean... while other who read might not...
it doesn't reply....or say anything....
doesn't scold u... or pissed u off...
its juz like i could juz darw a person on a wall and talk to it..
hmmm maybe reply myself ?
hahaz if i do...
i'd tell myself...
go get some slp
okok
ur thinking way too much.....
me? thinking way too much...
yea u...
so wad if u feel alone... and people around u are busy...
ya cant expect people to be wif u the whole time ur entire life rite
true true...
but thinking of them gone is worst zzz
...hey tell u dun think so much le rite!
go get something to drink, milk, tea or anything...
then go listen some music and slp or go do ur work!
or even better go help ur mum and dad clean the house
zzzz fine dun talk to u le....
zzz headache....
hmmm wth am i doing zzz
talking to myself...
lol
hmmm maybe i shld do it more...
feels fun...no one noes me better then myself rite?
okok i better stop...
tc ya all...
william
1:50 AM
Thursday, November 29, 2007
another weeks has past......
honestly i'm feeling very crappy recently...
constantly feeling down, stress, like as if i'm being crash by the very world i live in....
also... i'm very disappointed wif myself...
things i said i wont ever allow my self to do... i not only done it, i done it twice...
things i said not to do, but do it for enjoyment wif frens...
i somewhat use it for my own purpose...
what the hell is happening to me...
honestly right this very moment i'm damn worried bout alot of things...
who can i turn to?
who can i talk to?
or i shld say.... wad is actuclly wrong that i need to talk to people about?
feeling lost.....
and crappy too...
wish time could juz pause so i can sort things out...
time waits for no one...
someone please entertain me....
again... i'm in a situation where i'm all alone again...
be4 anything else... i would really wanna say...
to my frens...
i'm really sry for wad happen the other day...
u haf my words i wont ever do it again...
or at least try...
...
anyway the other day, went lunch wif qh then met up wif arif and group head over mich place..
played wii
till around the nite, went out to meet qh and jf..
it was suppose to be a simple gathering ...
we were talking pretty happily...
till abit later on...
nvm dun wish to talk the details...
lets juz say i over did it again...
and i had to rely on my frens to send me home...
i'm really sorry...
really disappointed wif myself...
well the next day had to drag myself to sch...
was feeling really terrible....
finished lab had lunch
then afternoon class i juz couldn;t bring myself to go...
so i went out to met eva to lighten myself up abit...
met her at dolby ghaut went around shopping..
honestly shes a pretty interesting person...
learned a couple of things from her...
till late afternoon...went over her best frens place,
kinda slack abit, be4 they left to meet their frens be4 i left for home...
well things seem to be good that day...
but still i hardly could bring myself to slp...
sometimes i really love/hate night time...
thats about all i guess..
somethings i'm very curious...
how come a simple fren can make someone think so much and worry so much till she can put herself in the way of misery?
i wonder if that fren was me would anything be different?
juz wanted o tell her give it some time dun think too much, 3 times i said he'll reply and he did...
so believe me when i say his not wad ya think?
hahaz seeing otehrs liek that i wonder anyone will act that way if it was me?
nah juz a tot...
i think i'll write till here.... maybe i juz go tidy the place up abit,
then maybe go study?
william
to all my frens take care....
to myself...pls shake it off and get a hold of urself zzzz
...
11:01 PM
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
its almost 3 am in the morning now...
and i'm still dead awake?
well cant slp now listening music and drinking wadever drink i can make =P
or wad ever a vodka can make =P
well juz feel like drinking something relaxing...
so went online find different cocktails and see wad i can do...
honestly i dunno wads going on...
juz feel abit alone....
everyone is aslp and i cant slp...
when times like this comes...
i tend to think alot of things...
think alot of crapz...
but its like sch and all is crap enuff and theres more i;m thinking?
haiz sianz...
a slight drink can help wif slp =)
too much is a waste to the drink...
like wad my fren say drinkin to numb urself aint doing justice to the drink =P
so rite LOL
anyway... feeling abit weird...
tired maybe...
maybe i shld try slp soon...
hmmm drinking thru a tiny straw is a different feeling...
hmmm juz bored...
suddenly think of alot of my frens...
miss ya all lotz...
how can some of ya even forget me...
hmmm nvm since i already write in the morning le might as well wait till tml to write...
plus everyone who reads here probably can guess wad i write...
zzz
logging....
william
miss everyone lotz...
10:37 AM
Monday, November 26, 2007
Honestly speaking i'm damn brain dead now... cant remember a single thing i wanna write last nite....
had very little slp...
hmmm wasn;t suppose to sleep de...
but then heck argh... tired liao dun slp can die....
so off i went to bed and damn tis morning woke up at 9...AT 9!!!!
i got class at 9........
so quickly wake up within 5 min time get rdy for sch...
chiong down and hail a cab....
heng the traffic was fine....
so i reached sch around 9.30.....
now VCN lab... bored.....
and my partner beside me is reading wadever i writing LOL!!!
anyway pause here for awhile...
lets head back a long time ago....
errr nvm yesterday nia...
was a very normal monday....
nothing much to do...
had lessons....
then during ipd some people was "acting emo"
or maybe they juz troubled?
so yea basically we did nothing there...
so yw was watching youtube....
and there i was crapping about hmmm shld i drink today?
then suddenly they say wanna go out drink...
then later say go dinner...
then change mind go k box...
well yesterday was the first day in my life i actuclly sing ...
well tell ya the truth...
those song i sing was tot by my younger sis...
emabrassing....
okok we went to eat at makan sultra....
then followed by kbox at marina square...
sadly not drinking LOL
jkjk
hmmm well the only sad part was my fren was asking me out to dinner and slack after that.,.
i had to turn her down..
sry shall make up to ya another day =)
after k box i head down wif jason to boat quey for supper..
then went by eski say hi and then after supper head back in a cab...
sianz pocket burn...
hmmm anyway lets see who went out hmmm there was me norvin, yw, ly, sj, jason....
hmmmm thats about wad happen yesterday.....
i'm so bored someone PLEASE SMS ME OR CALL ME!!!!!
OR JUZ JIO ME OUT SOMEWHERE!!!
AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyway gtg do lab le.... maybe later then sms people bahx...
logging
william
sian yesterday no pic taken sobz*
6:16 PM
Sunday, November 25, 2007
well back to write even more again..
hmmm the usual...went grandparent place
then my fren jio me go drink...
well she call and sms i didn't notice my phone ring..
then when i found out later... call her back... she was already drinking...
she ask me wanna come down...
saying she abit seh le
so i quickly rush back get my things.. and my dad drive me...
halfway... her bf called told me no need come down le...
she drunk le...
well at the moment i was like sianz 1/2...
but oh well...
least shes taken care off by her bf =)
but was really looking forward to it
sobz sobz///
juz now i wanted to write alot of things but now that i'm writing i forgot zzz
oh today i tried driving zzz
well my dad teach...
manage to get the hang of it...
it aint as easy as it looks...
well manage to get it rite somehow but still not really good at it...
k lah... getting back to my drinking/thinking doing... and chatting le... cant seem to slp again....
but feeling abit tired...
i think i'm sick...
love sick?
or mental sick?
hahaz
anyway to all my frens take care ya...
and pls jio me out when u need people to company!!!
i wont mind!!!
i rather haf some company then rot at home emo hahaha
anyway take care
logging
william
10:19 AM
Saturday, November 24, 2007
A person's happiness can be another person's saddness, depending on how u look at things......
its almost 10 in the morning...
feeling neutrel...
happy for my fren...
think bout somethings...
listening so some slow music...
some times i'm beginning to think too much?
some people might say i'm being passimistic or however ya spell it.
but sometimes ya juz cant help it but wonder...
at times i wonder wad the future holds?
personally i dislike how things are done in the current world...
side track
"happiest day of my life, is the day i die'" a part of the song thats currently playing...
ever wondered when u die wad happens?
personally i'm afraid to be forgotten and left alone...
ur death can become anothers saddness...
would there be someone who, ur death would haf an impact on?
anyway... back to wadever i was typing...
theres always a "why?" behind everything that happens?
and there is always more than an answer behind it.
personally recently especially...
been trying to pursue something thats seem impossible to achieve...
a peace of mind..
putting aside everything...
a clear of tots.
ya look at things, ya wondered a single person can haf such a huge impact on another person...
but can i be the person who gives that impact?
or when can i be the person who recieve it
theres juz too many things to think about in this world..
ya noe, i used to belief i had a perfect life...
but then everything i believed at that time was more or less taken from me...
could it be i took it all for granted?
well i sound like i'm unhappy wif wad i haf...
thats not true...
for me i'm pretty down to earth besides the usual dream of making big and riches and finding lots of frens or the one true love..
no harm in dreaming rite...
well i'm the kind who try to pursue wad i can get or achieve..
and be contented wif wad i can't recieve..
if ya can recieve why force it?
something someone told me be4...
which was very true..
the highest level of loving/liking someone is to be able to let the person go...
but is it as easy as saying it?
if u are reading this...
ya probably will be confuse wads wrong ...
well lets juz say i'm feeling neutrel and in a confusion of tots alone in my own room...
thinking bout things that happen, might happen, and things that already happened.
well i guess thats wad u get for contidicting wad u belief in and wad priciples and habit ya grows up wif.
i juz hate being alone...
anyway off i go....
i think i continue to write.. it wont ever end...
coz i dun even noe wad i;m thinking or writing...
cheers
william
5:53 PM
Friday, November 23, 2007
from one of the crappiest day of my life to one of the most exciting day of my life.....
thing started on thursday where i skipped school....
took a break from all the hectic sch crap....
had lunch wif a fren at pasir ris
till around the evening dinner time...
ck jio me out to MOS shodown....
wel at first was pretty excited as i got free entry ticket =P
meet a couple of new frens, ck frens
but soon the day kinda turned sour...
as in personally i hate to be left alone or sumtin like that...
not exectly left alone...
juz the emotional kinda feeling...
well i was always the one who look after the table...
where they each go do their own thing and all that...
soon something happen as in ck fren kinda got upset
started drinking and getting herself wasted....
then again i was left alone....
i was kinda sian of it... i dance to myself..
drink myself silly....
and i smsed some frens which i didn't noe till the next morning...
so yea i got myself wasted also... saw seri when i was slping outside MOS..
so in the end i spend the nite at ck's place...
woke up ck dad sent me home...
well i rested for awhile, then off i go again... to meet another fren...
followed her around town and all that...
then met up wif her frens..
nice people..
glad to met even more new frens and well looks can be decieving...
first look ya might not noe who they all are..
but then when ya noe them more... there are lots of things ya will be surprise to find..
like after dinner went over eva hse..
and omg was very suprise...
shes got alot of treasure =)
lol lots of hard liquor that cant really be found in most places...
hahaz and her house is really damn interesting... i haf never been to any house like that =P
she totally pwn the rest of my frens hahaz.
anyway now in my frens place... blogging =P
his house also damn interesting =P
his got loads of weapons and all that on display...
damn if only my house were like both their houses...
it'll be damn shiok!
=P
anyway i guess i write till here will write further next time...
logging..
william
9:25 AM
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
juz reached home....not in a very good mood...wanna talk to people but no one seem to be replying...feeling thinking alot of thigns now zzz....
maybe it was juz me...maybe i stir it up?
wad started as a simple talk of interest... and tots of concern become a full blown quarrel..
no one wanna back down...
maybe it was wrong for me to haf stood up to him?
worst... juz now was walking over their room and i overheard something... and well... makes me feel worst...makes me feel like i'm useless and worst i'm still a burden to them...and that i still challenge them...
juz feel very confuse now.....as in mixed feeling...
partly rebelious tots as in not willing to accept sumtin i feel is not rite....
but at the same time feel like i disappointed someone...failed in being filial...
how could i haf challenge him? definately his got more experience than me...
but still i feel his viewpoints are incorrect...
things change....
how can u view things wif a fixed mindset on wads wad??
everything is there for a reason....
ya cant judge somthing juz becoz u think u noe it...
not that i noe it well or wad....
haiz... i dunno maybe i'm wrong?
but was walking pass their room juz now...
overheard him said sometin about money....
and well at the very moment...
i felt a rush of anger, sadness, a sense of failure....
i'm i not doing my part in helping?
i noe sometimes i do feel unfair... as in i see others enjoyong their teen life wif their parents supporting everything... i see i feel jealous and all...
i'm still human... i do haf such feelings...
but i put it all aside...
now that i'm abit short...i need the money i gave/lend them awhile back...
its not that i wanna take but its juz i need it for the moment...
else i wont even be asking...
but that aside... me supporting myself... aint that sumtin to relief?
as in i dun understand ... how can things be equally as bad as be4?
it shld at least be a little easier...
that jus my point of view... least for the moment...
wads worst was... ya told me... when i need it i could get from ya...
ya gave me and ya say another thing behind me?
i mean if ya really need it more i can dun haf it...
i dunno.... i tot i haf done sumtin to help... but then seems like i didn;t....
i dunno my tots are juz messed up at the moment....
i'm sure theres definately a more mature way to look at this thing....
argh.... nvm that all aside...
juz dun wanna talk bout it anymore... i'll juz let it pass somehow some way...
note to myself... wadever he thinks its rite.. dun ague... juz agree...
anyway went to sch for a 1 hr consultation... then went over my frens place to bake cookies... and it was a total failure...
cookie was like all wrong...
hmmm maybe it was the portion wrong?
or the equipments wrong =P
i didn;t haf all those problem back home zzz
headache.... i think i'll juz end here....
will juz stone here and till eyes close and go slp....
who noes i might sort things out in my head....
i hate it when ur ehads juz fight over wads rite and wrong...
its like ripping ur head apart...
u feel one thing and thinks another...
its like a war in urself....
i hate being alone like now zzzz.......
need to be more independent...
william
failure, a disappointment? or worst....
7:16 AM
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
cant slp...zzz...
tired...
but cant slp....
tooth ache, back ache, i wonder wad else will ache =P
alone in my room staring at my computer...
cant slp so decide to write another post... hmmm i think i missed a few days de update le.
well today manage to woke up on time even wif a damaged alarm clock...
thx to a fren, who selflessly helped to morning call me..
well i actuclly kinda feel bad..
i mean like making someone to wake up early to wake me up is kinda wrong =P
well especially at a time when theres loads of work to finish, things to settle and worry.
i really hope everything works out and solved for her..
and that she can haf a moment of relief..
take care alrite...u are who u are, unqiue, its the way u are and the way u do things say things and care for things that make u different from others =)
nv doubt urself, ur personality or ur ability.
back to my post.
manage to reach class on time...
had IN4 lecture zzzz(boring)
followed by VCN(voice convergence network) lab..
pretty cool...except the fact tat i spend an hr fixing the basic setup and i could do any lab.
coz everyone else was using the equipment.
lunch.....
followed by FNS(fundamental Network Security) lab
also pretty okie..
managed to chiong the lab and end like 2 hrs early =)
a fren asked me out for dinner =)
was more then happy to make it.
well lets juz say i cant reach home in time for dinner(or everyones not home) and dinner in sch is kinda crappy especially if alone
so off i went back to tampines..
walked around...see the world go by me.
its nice sumtimes to juz watch the world go by..
but dun do it often though... time wastage
you'll learn alot of things juz by looking at simple things which u dun notice most of the time.
meet up wif my fren... and we had dinner at ramen teh(err i think its spelt that way)
its quite interesting they got japanese ramen dried....
we both had different set of bento.
and some sushi(and the way they make the sushi was different too)
well my fren took the pics so maybe when i get from her then upload in my blog.
after dinner we slack at coffee bean which juz reopen recently.
till pretty late then walk ehr to the bus stop and i head home..
well its really nice to haf dinner out wif frens whom ya can communicate well wif.
beside being the fren to listen, comfort, share, accompany...to what problems, interest or happenings they haf...
its also work the other way around..
i mean like when u hear others things.. ya will also think of things similar happened to yourself...
at the same time gain a new prospective to which how u view the things.
well hanging out wif my fren here also kinda help me relief some of the things i haf in me...
rather then being alone at home like now... or going back to see everyone doing their own things and miss dinner wif everyone...
to make it simple...
its juz really nice to haf a fren around who noes wad u gone thru, going thru...
whether they noe wad u feel or not.
noeing theres a fren who care, whether u want them to care anot..
or simply a fren who treasure the friendship no matter how new it is.
hmmm i think i;m getting engross to saying all this.
well i hope to be a fren who can do the same to all my frens...
and i hope all my frens can do the same to me.
anyway juz wanna say thx...
though i might not be someone u noe for a long time..
or someone whom u can trust totally...
juz glad i;m someone who u can share ur problems and joy wif... be it its up to date or a long time ago...
hmmm sriously i'm not good wif words...
i think i'm not writing wad i think/feel the way it shld be...
but i;m sure u'll noe wad i mean...
sidetrack......
hmmm people might not trust me...
i dun blame them...
for trust is something that is gain thru time..
i'll juz be who i am... and in time people will noe who i truely am...
hmmm i think i shld stop now... tots getting abit messed up...
take care...
logging off...
william
wads the worst thing that can happen to a person? to be misjudge, misintepretted as a person he or she is not.
people view things differently...so i hope everyone i come across wont view me as something i;m not...
i might not be 100% good... but i'm trying my best to reach there =P
good nits.
9:26 AM
Saturday, November 17, 2007
sianz sianz sianz sianz......what a way to start off a sunday.
woke up, then found out i got loads of online test to do...
then followed by a report.
anyway... a little bit more bout ytd.
though ytd started off kinda crappy...
but then went out in the nite, wif some frens to eski..
at the same time go see eva.
today is her last day at eski..
so the whole lot of us..
me, qh, jf, munfai and edmund.
went over slack, chit chat, drink abit...
well ytd i had a graveyard and a submarin.
was kinda disappointed wif the way the submarin was prepared.
originally it was suppose to be the terquila in a shot glass in the big glass where the beer was in.
but this time round, they seperate both drinks..
then i'm suppose to drop the terqila into the beer then take the whole thing down...
well gulping down a graveyard followed by a submarin aint kids stuff lol
felt a little tipsy after that... but still able to think and move =P
went home was chatting wif mich..
and zzz eyes like closing... cant type properly...
felt like the keyboard too cramp togather cant press the rite buttons....
zzz but from my past experience...
i think give me 2 more of each i shald be able to hold...
but hey drinking is not bout getting drunk LOL
its bout having fun wif ur frens and all.
anyway really thx to all of ya there..
ya ll made my moody day alot better.
i shld really put some things behind me and dun ever bring it back up again...
or i shld find another and move on...
still its not my priority.
like wad my dad always tells me.
if its mine, it'll be mine..
hmmm i think i better get back to work..
else tonite no need slp le..
take care ya all..
chat wif ya all soon...
william
10:42 PM
Friday, November 16, 2007
______Theres no reason to get pissed wif people i dun care, but why cant i not get pissed wif people i care about...________________
Note to self, please dun usually blast my music so loud...peoplle dun like it....
be4 i get all naggy and rant bout how i feel rite this moment...
juz wanna write abit about ytd and all...hopefully i wont be pissed after that...
went zouk/phuture ytd wif jf and fren...
well i dun think it went quite well..
jf wasn't exectly happy bout things there..
i think its juz the crowed bahx and the music not his kind?
oh well hey forget bout ytd, next in the future we go again and who noes things mighjt be better?
oh yea ytd also went dinner wif bro and mich and xanthe..
long time no see them..
its nice to see everyone well =)
went home around 2 am plus ytd,
again muz really thx jf dad for sending me home..
really appreciate it.
slp quite well last nite...
then this morning..
juz be4 i woke up or at least when i open my eyes...
i suddenly think about her...
started to wonder wad would things be like if things havent been the way they are back then..
i wondered where is she now...
wad is she doing..
wad is she studying...
sometimes i really would juz love to see her again..
though i noe things wont ever be good between us again...
maybe back then i wasn't a good fren/a good bf....
but rite now i juz wanna noe where and how is she doing...
if okie be frens again..
haiz.. nvm.....
i shld juz drop the tots... put it all behind me...i shld already haf done it long time ago....
juz now was chatting wif some frens from work to some reality things...
more like debating things...
though our conversation heated up...
we exchange viewpoints..
reasoning wif each other...
i got really pissed wif him...
yes my mindset aint 100% rite nor is it wrong...
but why can he juz F***ing give me a little respect i deserve...
though different mindset we haf...
i merely share my viewpoint...
and wad he did?
"YAWN!!!"
"LOOK WHOS TEACHING ME!!"
i'd say fine... if ur so relactant to accept wad i say or at least listen then i haf nothing to say to u...
so wad if u, ur somebody discovered sometime worth millions...billions...
so wad if it meant the whole world owe ya money?
so wad?
from a good thing... the way u put it it becomes sometin negative...
i tell u first... if i were to die from a diease from ech theres no cure...
except thru u...
i wont even bother...
i'd live my life to the fullest
forfiling wadeevr i set out to do...
and pass on wif no regrets..
somethings juz cant be held...
some things my uncles said is so true...
yes... i'm young inexperince and all...
but i learned to accept wad people say, think bout it... from a third party prospective..
take a step back and think the whole thing out...
somethings i really dun understand is the selfish mentality of human beings..
yes... some things are positive...
but then it also brings some negative wif it...
why cant people juz be content wif wad they haf and strive to achieve wad they can..
well i admit i'm a human too i too haf selfish intent and tots...
but it shldn't be the one driving my life...
forget... i juz dunno how to write it out...
some of ya might udnerstand... some wont...
i wont blame/judge ya if u disagree..
u haf ur own free will..
i'm jzu so pissed i cant think stright....
wads worst then getting hurt by others words?
being insulted by them thru the lack of minimum respect...that everyone deserve...
...
i shld juz stop here...
i hold no grudge on anyone...
hopefully people hold none on me..
and dun judge me base on their own ideas and others words...
i'm talking crap...
william
11:37 PM
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
____is it true that the younger generation really takes life and everything in it for granted?......POSITIVE!!!!____________
today...woke up...
parent brought me out for breakfast/lunch...be4 sending me to sch..
meet up wif some frens then gathered to go tekong island =P
some programme plan for the polys
went there to see the basic military training centre...
well tell ya the truth was quite excited to go see..
well partly coz i wont haf any chance to be there..
however...some things i notice there really disappoint me...
nono, not the place or the people there...
its actuclly the people visiting ..
immatured spoiled pampered thinking...
its quite true wad some of the sgt there said...
i mean like if ur gonna be so negative bout it...
ur definately gonna suffer hell in the 2 years..
like some people i noe...
keng till pes c then tio crap job... then now KPKB bout it everytime..
tell ya the truth... i belief it aint as bad as they say...
yes, giving up ur freedom and privacy and all is kinda a hefty price to pay.
but in the process, u learned some things that will change ur life forever..
if ur all gonna juz view it from a bias prospective...
then sad to say i doubt u will gain anything...
juz like one of the station where they let us see and try their combat rations...
and be4 they even show...
i got people saying the food sucks...
in my mind i was thinking...
HELLO!!!! its combat ration... not some 8 dish banquet
these people nv experience life without lack of food, water, power...
personally even if the food not as good as outside and all..
if its still okie... edible...
its still food...
oh well...
cant judge them base on all this...
but really i feel they shld grow out of all that thinking...
anyway after today... while on my way home...
was thinking... wads life gonna be like for me?
will i haf social life?
will i ever get attached?
etc etc...
well its juz that the career path for me is kinda travel alot...
so yea...
oh well will write more bout it next time bahx...
gonna slp soon
logging =)
william
6:28 AM
Monday, November 12, 2007
___Every little actions can mean alot to some people..._____
its 11.15am now, tuesday 13th nov..
in VCN class now,
kinda problematic at first but managed to troubleshoot the problems..=P
anyway a little bout yesterday,
had IPD presentation yesterday..
went quite okie i guess although i feel it could have been alot better..
i shld haf practice more or revise more of all my past work..
then at least the project would haf been better..
now juz left the report to submit,
still trying to put together everything..
well i got a week to do it so aint a problem.
however ytd, in IPD saw some things that, well left me thinking bout somethings.
the first thing was, when the teacher wanted to reshuffle the teams some was really not happy about it.
they were like violently rejecting the idea.
cant blame them actuclly,
personally i pray i dun get an incompetent team..
but hey everyone has their strong point =)
i saw that in the first project i had wif my team which i kinda underestimated.
but if u think of this reshuffling idea from another prospective,
its actuclly beneficial,
imagine going out to work,
its not like u will always be wif ur frens in ur own little comfort zone..
theres always times where you haf to work wif complete strangers, slackers, demanding "slavemaster"...
human beings are very complex things, each and everyone of them is unique, with their own charcter and habit.
to me changing teams is a change of enviroment, things like that lets u experience and learn things, pick up skill.
i'm looking forward to the next project, i wonder wad result would this combination of people bring.
also beside that, i saw a fren present, and i must say shes a pretty good speaker,
cant tell by juz looking at her...
thus another case of dun judge a book by its cover.
thats basically sch ytd,
oh and i also i got to took the train wif my parents =P
dad going reservist while mum was going out to settle some things.
hmmm anyway i gtg fren hungry le wanna lunch le...
will update more when i get home...
logging william
tc
7:15 PM
Sunday, November 11, 2007
The time now is 2.03 am
and i got sch at 9 tml omg wad am i doing up so late?
hahaz well gonna slp soon,
but decided to post a post.
today nothing much till evening...
went out meet qh for dinner, had this really nice place at siglap,
we had chinese food, those where ya rice and side dish and all..
it was not bad =)
then went over starbucks slack abit digest abit wait for jf to come..
wen he arrive we went over this place call vie bar
really nice place, cheap too
damn cool..
nice ambience, good drinks even got snacks =P
we ordered some drinks and chat and slack there while jf also watch soccer there
i had a graveyard(again since last year) and a submarin
talk bout loads of stuff..
till about 1 am plus then jf dad send us home =)
thank you!!!!
really nice of ya dad to send us home =P
that about all today..
well ytd i also read some of my frens blog,
was realy happy to see one...(i'm sure ya noe which one i'm talking about)
its really nice when people say nice things bout ya...
i;m sure everyone likes it..
well juz wanna say your welcome=)
i too really appreciate ya comapny and all,
its really nice to haf met ya=)
take care of yaself alrite,
ya noe where to get me if ya need me =P
also was watching this show freedom writers...
really good show, meaningful
watch le i really tell myself, its time i work harder bout my education..
ya all shld watch it too..
side notes to myself, remember upload project into laptop..
errr kinda forget the rest =P
oh well will rememebr tml de i guess..
to my bro arif, really miss ya and the rest, take care of yaself alrite =)
cya soon
well for some personal tots..
ya noe a simple compliment can really brighten up someones lives...
and kinda make ya mood really good.. no matter wad happen..
its even greater when ya make an impact(good ones of coz) in someones lives...
be there when they need company most...
listen when they need to talk...
basically be the fren for them...
everyone deserves a true fren =)
like someone said, everyone plays a differen role in everyones eyes...
thats so true.!!
most of all always be yourself
do wad u feel is best..
not for motive
wish me luck tml in my presentation, although i feel my slides are crap...(lack of resource and manpower)
really love to haf a dreamteam to work wif =P
oh well guess i'll haf to be satisfied wif wad i haf and make do...
i;m sure we can do better in the next project...
JIA YOU!!!!!!!
i've failed in leading...
i wont fail again....
believe me or not...
i'll learn to be a better leader...
take good care of yaself...
to someone...the things will settle de i;m sure...
be strong haf faith in urself
logging off
william
10:03 AM
Saturday, November 10, 2007
____Another days pass...a day closer to project deadline, a day closer to frens birthday, a day closer to death..everyday is a day closer to something good and bad...______________
Anyway today nothing really special happen...
same things wake up breakfast and all...
did some discussion wif my teamates over msn...
blasting music shouting singing screaming
well partly was in a good mood, partly wasn't...
so well it was kinda a neutrel feeling...
then around the evening went out wif my uncle and his wife and dad
to expo...so see a car exhibition...
well when we arrive, we got to see some drifting action first hand...
it was pretty exciting...then on the other hand kinda change me impression on certain cars =P
its pretty impressive how precise they are..
went in walked around... saw alot of pretty cars and not forgetting the models...
hahaz ck if ur reading this i'm sure u'll enjoy it LOL!!!
went around learned some technical things bout all this vehicle technology thingy..
save alot of my targetted dream cars...
but look at the price i actuclly wonder will it juz be a dream only?
hahaz to me its juz an interest.. i can live without it..
so yea no harm in seeing and dreaming sometimes..
petrol is quite ex now anyway...
but still i gonna go for a license ...
coz if i dun go now, i wont be going for a long time...
i forsee a vehicle is needed in the distance future..
now for me is to take good care of myself, look out for my frens and family, study hard, and build a career...a strong career so my spouse and children in the future will get to enjoy life a bit better without worry...more on that in the future hahaz...
went for dinner after dad...
then went back home..
hahaz then everytime i open my house door,
i look at this key chain a very good fren of mine
gave me...
i look at it and juz smile to myself...
juz glad i could be wad was written in the key chain..=)
i mean its like look around u u see everyone around u, ur frens...
some maybe juz hi and bye frens...
some consider ya brothers or sisters...
and theres always some who kinda say one thing and they another...
its juz so many kind...
i guess thats a disadvantage of having the human mind?
the complexity of it..
the different combination of characters and feelings...wif a little bit of habits and enviroment
molding into wad people are in this world..
as for me...
well personally i tell ya its almost impossible to say ya noe everything about urself...
no one can say that...
u can noe ur own limits and all..
but definately there are things, feelings, actions ya dun understand about urself...
same goes for me...
but for me...i try to keep watch over myself and learning in the process..
everything is a learning experience..
i tend to feel more then i shld regarding others be it food or bad...
well every passing day i noe more about myself and those around me a little better..
anyway gonna log here...hmmm enuff bout writing wad i'm feelin at the moment....
=P gonna go finish up some project and maybe read around some blog see how things are going..
logging
william
to my frens pls take care of urself..
i'll be around when ya need me most alrite =P
no need say m,ost lah...anything anywhere anytime =P
hahaz i guess i shld make that my new qoute...
"anywhere anytime"=P
LOL
okok enuff le if i dun stop wont get to do my work le =P
juz love blogging get to juz write wadever i felt...
and not much people reads them too =)
\
8:44 AM
Friday, November 09, 2007
Hmmmmm.... i muz find a new way to tidy up my blog =P
anyone got any suggestion?
anyway today i was really really surprise wif some things...
as in speechlessly surprise...
my IPD team actuclly completed all the things that i haf problems wif...
i wasn't there wif them..
its actuclly a good thing i wasn't there...
i guess i owe them an apology...
i underestimated them...
if i were there... i would haf hold them back...
anyway guys thx =)
really appreciate it...
ya relief me of at least a problem...
i tot we were a goner..
thx thx
and my apology too...
anyway lets see wad happen today...
first i kinda didn't went out wif my uncle to super import nite exhibition at expo
probably going tml...
later in the evening went out dinner wif qh and jf
had jap food at the tampines gym there..
food was kinda okie some good some bad...
but still edible =P
then we head down to siglap,
well they kinda haf a gathering wif their classmate people..
did kinda feel a little extra at first..
but kinda got to noe them better slowly...
hahaz was glad a certain someone couldn;t remember i was same sch wif her..
coz well the first time i said hi wasn't well =P
hahaz but still chat wif her abit...
she seem nicer then she looks =P
well maybe that time when i said hi in the 74 bus the expression she gave kinda left an impression haha
but oh well its all resolved =P
after that they kinda disperse and the four of us(me, qh, jf and yao hui(forgive me if typo)
went down to PP play some pool
i was downstair wif jf and yh..
chat abit,
went up play abit then soon we'r off back home
and also muz thx jf dad for giving us a ride home =)
thx thx
thats about all wad happen today..
oh and bro so sry ya couldn;t come over this afternoon...
maybe sunday bahx =P
although sunday nite maybe going pubbing wif some frens..
but thats late nite i guess
then lets see wad else to sum up?
oh yea to certain someone, cheer up alrite...
take good care like i say, things will pull thru de..=)
look forward to tml it'll be a brighter day..
hahaz omg i'm begining to sound like nagging...
some notes to myself...
time to resume workout lightly..
also buck up on my work le...
that shld be all bahx i guess...
to all my close frens take care alrite...
noe that i'm always here for ya..=P
logging
william
11:33 AM
Thursday, November 08, 2007
yesterday went clubbing wif some frens,
overal was fun...
but there was also some down time..
as in the queueing part =P
and also the left alone part.. =P
tio squeeze deep inside till a point where ya juz cant move or anything...
but oh well it was fun =P especially towards the end...
anyway today was kinda disappointed wif myself...at least rite now...
well if i hadn't drank that much yesterday,
i could haf woke up earlier...
and maybe who noes, help out a fren in need in the dearest time...
i caould haf maybe call or sumtin...
prevent something from happening..
i mean like for me i look out for my frens and all...
but juz when they needed em most i was asleep...
haiz...as of today, i wont ever let something like that happen again...
i'll keep my phone my my side always...
even when i'm asleep,
make sure that at the slightest ring i'm there to pick up or reply...
some people really dun noe heir limits...
in the process cozing misery to others...
cant they juz understand wad they do is not wad they think...
or wad they do is not wad others wan?
its juz so selfish thinking...
how can u judge everything base on urself?
ur not her...
please juz wake up...
nvm he doesn't read here anyway...
now please take care of urself alrite if ur reading this u'll noe who u are..
theres definately a way out of this...
a way where its fair to u and all...
dun let people take advantage of u or ur weakness..
but nv change into someone ur not..
one day he will haf his retribution...
that i'm sure...
ur fren
william
12:12 AM
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
today... was kinda a sway day...
every thing seem to hit me...
=Pas in everything...
its kinda stress...
anyway this post is more to wad i felt while walking home today...
was listening to music and walking really slowly...
everything seem to be going very fast around me...
it kinda reminded me of the ending of the movie "queen of the damned.."
quite slow pace story but quite meaningful..
the ending was the main actor a vampire.. finally turn this gal whos been trying to find out who he really is..
into a vampire and both of them walk the streets for eternalty...
kinda make me wish i was a vampire(immotal) though sad but not bounded by time..
juz live on wif my one true love enjoying each others company, appreciate each others presence.
hahaz well even if that can be true...the sacriface needed is too much...
guess theres no free meal in this world..
everything has a price to pay..
but haahz its juz an imagination...
something i juz happy imagining about...
well wif my poor use of words...dunno if people will noe wad i emant and not get the wrong idea...
anyway... bout the things i said i wrote wad i felt about the things that happen is on the previous post...if ya reading this ya will noe wad i talking about...=)
take good care be strong but be urself =)
william
8:19 AM
Monday, November 05, 2007
zzz in sch now...VCN lab... and the lousy router so slow...
suppose to configure the router for VOIP and omg when i sent in the file.. i forgot to edit it now got unreconise commands.....
sianz...
anyway... been thinking bout some things lately...
mostly bout wad people things and all...
some people are really an ass....
well i've seen many people all different character and all...
but some people realy dun noe who they are....
ya got people trying to break people apart...
and wads his reason?
he can give her more happiness...
i wondered...
how sure are u?
ur still studying and all...
even people who are in relationshp for like years already dun say dat..
then who are u to say?
well deep inside i feel...
omg even if i compare myself to u i haf even better ability to provide...
i mean i've considered all thats important in my life..
i consider peoples feeling...
i haf my career path laid out
my study plans laid out
i mean though i'm still studying and young
i'm already preparing for my own future...
wad i can do to provide my family and frens...
its just weird...how can people say such things like i can give u more and all that...
so wad if u got money....
got money means u can bully people?
one day u'll live to regret all the things ya do...
i mean for me...
i am but juz a student...
someone living off allowance no matter where tat is from...
learning life as i go thru daily life...
least from all my experience...
i noe its never rite to abuse peoples weakness,
nor is it rite to force urself or ur feeling on others.,..
its like HEY GET A LIFE!!!
its a 2 person thing....
i heard from my sis...
his got a classmate who say he wan to break this couple up...
becoz he feels that the guy abuses her... dun give her freedom...
but when people ask wads his plans...
he say bring her go japan live out their days...
then someone asked..
biut she grew up here wont she miss home or her family or frens?
he said nvm he'll bring her back once a year for 2 weeks...
i hear liao was like OMG wad is this guy mind made off?
well even say bout all this... i'm sure they dun like it when i talk bout it ...
i'm a third party i shld haf no say in all this..
but as a fren i feel its rite to concern myself wif their well being and feelings...
frens look out for each other... hear each other out...
true frens be there for their frens when needed most..
haiz...
this world is juz getting more and more rotten...
juz glad there are still those who are good characters to balance things out...
juz a few personal words to those people who u noe who u are....
please do take care alrite...
as a fren i'll be there to help things out
or simply hear it out
well i'm not good wif words but i'm sure u noe wad i mean.
take care!
william.
6:42 PM
Sunday, November 04, 2007
PARTYY!!!!!!!
okok be4 i get to that...
hmmm this post is specially for the days yesterday the day be4 yesterday..
well friday was the celebration of alvins birthday,
our very famous and well known LS =)
but hey to me his a pretty cool fren..
one of a kind.
nice to tok to..but needs to be more happening.
anyway we met up at tampines
PAUSE!!! LISTENING MUSIC NOW AND THIS SONG VERY NICE!!! : 只对你有感觉
okok back to wad i was saying...
well more like me and qianhui met up at tampines wif erm i think helmet and his gf(erm i noe her name but dun noe how spell =P someone please let me noe)
well they didn't join us so after hanging out awhile we head down to TM saw Alvin(the star of the day) and he saw me and said " why u here?" i felt like omg!!! am i not welcome? jkjk he didn't meant anything lol
we went fish and co.
waited for everyone to arrive, met alot of old faces.
man they all really grow into their own unique characters =)
had a nice dinner there, and we surprised alvin wif a cake and well the special celebration the fish and co people do for birthday people.
kinda make us wear funny hats, alvin to stand on the chair, they shout a birthday cheer for him. =)
i garentee his gonna remember for the rest of his life.
well after the dinner we kinda cab down to boat quey ESKI BAR!!!
had lots of fun wif ck, javier, ong, qianhui, yu zhen and of coz alvin.
and omg eski renovated i really love the place now..
well the people changed but still as nice.
some of them remembered me.
they said the way i got wasted last time is one of a kind.
LOL
anyway met, eva or ya can call her shu hui, ting(from last time), dexter, seri(also from last time), issac, joanne
really love the place, it may be ex, but u pay for the ambience and people =)
anyway played games and all had loads of fun.
well the next day we met up for JM birthday, kinda a undecisive event lol
but hey the organiser did a great job thats for sure, juz people cant decide on things.
we had dinner at this place called the giraffe.
near istana.
omg i didn;t even noe theres a resturant there.
well after dinner went to boat quey again.
buit sadly since they dun wan make a decision we recommend eski.
and well went there and they change their mind
OMG! damn paiseh loh.
but oh well they went down to bottoms up.
played games sing song and all.
drank alot of chivas.
then end of it i went back to find ck at eski togather wif qh and munfai.
well we had a little fun.
talked to eva bout some things, shes a really nice person, also deciding whether to study oversea, well if ya ask me theres a chance go for it.
=)
anyway later qh and munfai went off.
so become me and ck.
lol well we kinda sat there tok and tok and tok.
and drink and drink.
well kinda notice my alcohol content increased lol
had quite some drinks and lastly the most powerful fire drink they haf there stronger then the waterfall or flaming lambogini...introducing the FLAME OF GLORY!!!
well be4 i had that i had a flaming lambogini wif qh, an artic ice, comfort zone, almost half a bottle of chivas.. and etc...
then had mac wif ck after they close we took loads of pic too!!
anyway today was a pretty slack day bro came over wif xanthe
then head out to meet qh,
slack tok tok
had a pretty good time =)
well shes not feeling well.
so get well soon!
and we ur frens are here for ya alrite =)!!!
well i think i missed out quite some things...
oh well i'll put pics...
up loading now...
eva and me!!! =P
lucky me? =)
see no evil, hear no evil, say no evil
FLAME OF GLORY...!!!
Ong, QH and ME!!!! funny faces!!
6:46 AM
