-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.

Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

hey back to post...

been bored, troubled, sleepless lately...
but oh well still alive and well..
ya noe i hate it when i had alot to write and i forget wad i wanted to write...
anyway a little bout today...

well yesterday slpt pretty late...
then this morning woke up real early made a nice breakfast for myself...
then head off to meet my bro arif and his fren for a swim...
swim a few laps and kinda relac there...
then later head home watch movie and all...
then after dinner...
went out meet jf and qh..
kinda slack outside talk and all...
i really love hanging out wif them...
can talk bout anything and well they more or less understand and kinda think similarly..
then after that head home...
reached home... got the same feeling like ytd nite, cant slp feeling...
then went to do some workout...
then shower and poof back here writing this...

well thats about wad happens today bahx..

recently trying to sort out alot of things...
sometimes stay at home really feel like going to explode kinda crazy...
juz constantly trying to occupy myself...
well some things i noe i can sort out,... juz the feeling is driving me crazy... like i dun like to owe people things... and when i do... i feel really bad... and it kinda haunts me everyday...
oh well beside that... i also dun like to do things halfway...
lol now thinking of project also...
kinda worried bout one of my teamates..
well those are juz some things thats going thru my mind daily...
sometimes i feel like a machine...
constantly need process things... i see things i think of things...
sch starting gotta to start work on sch works..

hmmm then also thinking bout my own physical fitness...
i'm still too darn weak...
too dun overweight...
need push, push limits...

its like i'm too darn weak for anything...
theres so many things i noe i can do...
and when i see people around me who juz take things for granted or peoplewho live in their own little world...
makes me wanna smack them wake up...
people who born wif things... and dun cherish...
pls people pls wake up...

honestly i'm beginning to not noe myself...
trying to understand so many things... but everything seems to contridict one another...
feels like i'm lost... searching for answer and meaning to my life here..
is life only about solving things and living things by the days?
lol that reminded me of that tarot card reading...
they advise me to search for my balance... leave the old and change for the new...
i'm trying and i dun noe where and how...
feels darn lost...
i think i grew over her already... i think i haf...
i mean i wan to move on and move out of it..
but then why do i cling on to that piece of painful memory?
hahaz constantly locking myself in seclusion filled wif music and darkness... feels at peace...
if only human brains work like a PC.... format and everything is done...
or defrag the memory or sumtin...

well i try to live thru everyday achieving wad i can for the day...
but then things is starting to become different from wad i believed last time...
why?
now i doubt the things i believed in...
i used to tell myself... reflect myself...
and live everyday to the "fullest" achieving wad i can from it...
now i seem to look at it differently...
kinda like no aim... even though i see the path i walk on...
or the choices that i might wan to make in the near future...

wad am i saying...
nvm....
one day i'll find the answer...to everything...

someone pls juz guide me or walk wif me...
i dunno wads happening... and i wanna talk to people and i dun haf things to say...
hahaz well to my frens who was wif me today...
all this has nothing to do wif anything today...
its juz everytime i feel i wanna write some things i juz do it... coz who noes the answer migth juz come to me....

william...
i'll always look out for the ones i loved and care about be it fren or foe..

9:52 AM