-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.

Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

lalala.....once again awake... its now 5.15am...
in 15 min time i think i'm gonna lights out and stone in the dark act slping...
well coz 5.30 my parent wakes up...
and kinda dun wan them see me everyday liddat...
its bad enuff... i'm i cant manage myself... i dun wan them to feel upset over me...or sumtin... hmmm i wonder would they anot... bleh...wad am i thinking zzz...

zzz well couldn;t slp... then juz stare com and well decided to start out ont he report for my IPD project 2 and well kinda 3/4 le... i think.... actuclly more like half coz the last part bout the configuration thing is kinda long...

honestly i think my report is kinda crappy... dunno if it'll work... well my team is counting on me...
i cant let them down...
well if any of them dun do well... it'll be my fault...
my project one i guess i already partly failed my team already...
even though they managed to settle the things...

enuff bout that...
i still got a presentation to do... and honestly i haf no idea how and where to begin...

zzz dun wan talk bout it le...

honestly this sem i no longer noe if i can make it...
i'm starting to feel like i'm gonna screw up...
i mean i always did screw up major things... and thx to luck i made it thru... this time round feels as if luck left me to die already...

haiz...
ya noe everywhere i turn i looked at things there always sumtin that makes me gloomy...
either that or i'm troubled wif things...
i think if sg has guns i would haf shot my useless brain dead... least i'd rest in peace...
well sadly, everyone seems to be really busy lately...
out of 10 person i talked to only 1 replied...
well cant blame them though...
well i guess i'm being really troublesome lately...
hahaz hmmm maybe its the way i am thats why people from my past all left me?
well honestly i feel bad disturbing people too...
it spoils peoples mood too lol
hmmm okie i shld haf myself settle my own problems...
and do wad i do best around people...
put a big smile and juz be that nice guy they noe and see me...
people shldn't be worrying bout me and my problems...
dun think anyone is worrying but thats besides the point...
i shldn't trouble anyone around me..

anyway ya noe its so true humans like to believe in things that dun exist... putting hope in sumtin that cant be reached...
from young till old its always like that...
then in the end gets disappointed wif life...
but then if ya look at the way i think... where ya accept the fact that life kinda has no permenent meaning... so wad if i earn big money... so wad if i did well in exams... in conclusion ya got to lose it all...

nvm... i dun wanna write anymore le....yesterday that post is too long... crapped too much... but then i dunno i still feel its true...
this week itself i slpt less than 48 hrs already...
i'm so screwed...
zzz
now my mind is juz filled wif too many things especially my damn project...
ya noe its a weird thing...
ya happy when ya see people around gets happy and all that... but then ya start to ask yaself... why cant ya be like that?
hahaz maybe thats jealousy...
so technically ur happy and unhappy wif things that happen to people?
lol then people will tell u one day u'll get wad is urs...
but then i dunno... now i dun see the point of putting that hope... wad if ur not meant to get that?
i dun wanna disappoint myself already,... i already felt bad enuff when i first get a major setback...
if i get another i think i cant handle it already...
it doesn't matter anymore... i'd juz wake up everyday... finish everyday... and wake up another day...
eat and slp... work out do wad is needed drink my ass off and wait for my day to end? of coz finish wad needs to be done...
hahaha... maybe i'm juz too tired to hold myself together already,....
i'd be fine i promise... i think...
actuclly i dunno....
nvm...

1:12 PM