-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.

Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

25th january 2008... 25 days since the the new year...
though it didn;t really start as well as it shld haf... least its going on quite fine i'd say with some obsticle here and there...
its 2.54 now..still awake as always...
juz showered...
stood there let the water run through...
close my eyes... hear the sound of the ntie and the running of the water...
and thinking of nothing else..
feeling relax...
it feels good...

thinking through some things that happen...
well its the same case of wad ya feel and wad ya think... fighting...
its like they cant agree wif each other...
well blame it on the fact that human beings are too complex...
ya haf people wif motive, people who hides their true face of themself...
people who throw themself in harms way...
people who ... nvm...its juz too complex...

well i'm no one to be judging anyone..

anyway... lets juz drop that topic...

today... didn't go sch...
rot at home..doing nothing...
well i slpt last nite... lay there till morning... then finally slpt... but then woke up in the afternoon...
while slping... was awaken by some dreams... but at the moment i cant remember any of them...
thats good too... i dun wanna noe either..
rotted till evening... wen out wif parent...
well actuclly my mum drag me...
she say dun wan see me stay home alone... doing nothing in my room...
so off i went...
went down PUB...no its not pub... i think its power utility something..
then after settling the things there... went down to taka..
had dinner there..
well had a buffet at family international..
and well conclusion the food suck..
but oh well...
zz
but i do remember this one waitress there.. she was like that sumtin nice in the place where the food aint nice at all..
well she first came to clear the plates at my table.. and well as usual i thank the person... and she smiled back.. well that was something that i rememeber clearly.. shes got a really pretty smile..
oh and i shld add shes got a very sweet voice too... hmmm well
i'm not saying all this becoz i spend my time beoing people...
and who cares if people say shes not as pretty as i say... well to me looks isn't everything... though a minimum is required... not that i'm against anybody or wad.. it juz goes to show that the person loves him or herself..
and no i didn;t go get number... zzz
its juz not me... i mean i appreciate the beauty of people...and i dun juz desperately throw myself to people... and of coz not wif my parent there...
its juz a simple comment...
anyway... after that i went back...
it always nice to go out wif my parent...
i get to noe them a little better... i get to talk politics and interest wif my dad..
and well i get to update my mum on society =)

back home... i juz went back to my hole.. and juz stayed there...
dun wanna think of anything important at the moment...
juz sit there.. stare at the com... do nothing... played some games...
games that really keep my mind occupied...
i'm currently people CivCity:rome its bout building a city andall that...
haf to really put my brain to use.. thinking of the best way to place everything coz as resident improve.. standard of living improve... the things require also... and well its juz get messy...
okok anyway... i noe ur sick of hearing me talk bout all this...

well soon exams will be here... and i better get myself together and get ready... i already screwed up enuff... i could nv meet up to my own expectation... well i used to think i was better then everyone at home... but i was wrong.. and that tot was foolishly childish...
well even noe... wif IAP(industrial attachment programme.) coming for everyone my batch..
half my class got called for interviewed.. and i didn;;t was it something wrong wif my CV?
or i wasn;t good enuff... that cant be... nvm... shall say nothing...
anyway i wanna say i'm really proud of my sis...
she aimmed for oversea attachment... and well she didn;t wan those the sch gave... she went around getting her own company... and well her portfolio was fantastic that she currently haf people from the US, australia and i dunno where... very happy wif her folio...
now is up to sch to investigate the company and see if its sutable..
well my sis haf always been better then me..always... she juz didn;t accept that fact that shes good... till she retook her o levels... she didn;t let wad happent he first time beat her down...
congratz =)

for me... i'm juz gonna continue the path i chose... even wif peoples comment bout me and all...
honest'ly i dun like it... but then i shldn;t care...
so wad if people calls me a government dog...
zzz juz becoz i get salary from the gov...
so wad if the money come from tax...
that doesn't mean i'm below any of u...
who cares bout wad people thinks..
yes i'm fat, ugly, no brains... no looks,
so its still juz me... does it concern anyone else no....
well luckily not everyone thinks that way...
well dun worry those people who actucllyreads here are not one of those...
and fine some of them is juz joking... but jokes can go too far sometimes...
like the other nite...
at my frens birthday... somethings they joke about really hit me... that i wanna juz whack some sense into them...
but i juz kept breathing and psychoing myself inside... no its juz a joke... they dun mean it...
well i wont be surprise if one day when my own psychoing cant hold me back i'll beat some sense into some people...
well for a person who already lost most of his confidence, and self respect... such things really hurt alot... such comments...
so i advise people please dun happily joke about people when u dun mean it...
it may be a joke...
but it also can be a joke too much...
well some of u might say i think too much... or sumtin like that...
fine... i dun like to lose... okie...
i dun like it when people joke about things tat are sensitive to me...
fine i haf some issue wif my ego...
i'll deal wif it somehow oneday...
juz lay off me alrite..
unless u truely mean to help or to be a company...

i think i'll end here... enuff rumbling about things.. i think people also sick of it...
i will deal my issues myslef... i assure u...
i wont or at least i try not to let myself down...
if i really cant.. then... i think i'm better off ...nvm...

shutting up and logging...

william....
tot of a perfect gift for my fren... but i dunno whether she'll like it... its juz sumtin i rememebr she say she like...

to my bro arif... work hard and take care ya... though we haben talk for a while.. ur always in my mind and heart.... good luck this year.. and juz take care of urself ya... ya got someone who loves ya dun bully her ya... lol doubt ya will i think more like the other way round jkjk..

also thinking of another close fren of mine... haben talk to her for damn long le... not even see her... wonder hows she doing... other then the usual reply of fine..anyway take care and stay happy always... remember wan jio people go out i'm always available,, =P
though only like 1 or 2 actuclly calls zz hahaz

good nite and sweet dreams

10:00 AM