-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.

Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

hey hey...

well haben update in a while...
hmmm lets see i shall update bout yesterday and the day be4 that...
friday... nothing kuch happen i guess...
though evening went out meet some frens drink...
was suppose to be a simple happy gathering =P
kinda turn out abit messed up...
well at first was abit sianz...oversome things...
well some memories really shld be left untouch...
anyway... so i tot heck juz go out meet fren sit sit drink drink talk talk..
so off i went...
oh abit side track...
she went kandi bar wif her frens to finish the bottle they left last time..
and i first time hear be4...
the bar LOST the bottle...
then they wanna compensate wif a absolute blue..
then nv... as for the mixer they wanna change...
zz but the person dun let... and inist absolute blue can go wif sprite...
well like duh everything can go wif everything...
its juz whether it taste weird anot...
and i agree it doesn;t go well..

okok back to eski...
then she head over...
wif her bf, best fren, boy friend, boyfriend..any diff tot they shld be of the same level hahaz least to me
or so some of my frens say..
anyway
we were there happily talking and all...
i saw my fren.. eva...
well she was there wif her bf and frens...
well me as usual as long as is fren i will say hi de..
she look kinda miserable...
then i found out something...
the bf dislike me...
wtf...
nvm... the reason being coz he say i bring hakim go drink... i'm not a good influence...
fine.... its my fault for drinking wif an underaged...
but hey i didn;t drag him there... neither did i ask him to be there...
he was there on his own account... and at that time... i didn't remember the fact that he was 16...
fine i'm to blame...
so wad that doesn;t give u the rite to make her cut off her frenship wif me rite...
i'm sick of guys like u whos paranoid over so many things...
open ur fukign eyes... and see is wad u doing wad she wan... even i think ur freaking too possessive...
she cant even do the things she like... she cant go out without ur permission?
haiz pls wake up ur fuking idea...
hate me but dun make her life miserable...
as for me i shall not comment anything.. only time will tell my innocent...

why is it always i;m being hated...
zzz i used to haf another close fren i emt at work last time..
then get along very well... helped her a couple of time wif her r/s problems... and suddenly i became the problem... and she juz cut off 2 years... till recently she finally replied..
guys why are all of u so fuking paranoid...
it pains me to see my frens being so miserable...
rather i be the one feeling miserable then i being the one who see them like that...
coz it sucks more when there nothing ya can do for them to ease their misery...
i guess leopards really cant change its spots...
i'm juz who i am ever since...
no matter how much i try to change i will still be the someone outcasted and disliked...
well though things are slightly better now.. i shall not deny...

hope she is well and hope things improve....
and if really my disappearence can help... then i guess i ahf no chioce do i no matter how much i hate that...

haiz... nvm lets not talk bout tat... its peoples personal problems..

that also remind me... to a certain someone...ur another whos got to wake up ur fuking idea.. be4 someone beeat the crap out of u... stop ruining the lifes of others... stop causing havoc and misery...
u say u love someone... u wan that someone... shes the only one for u... but the fact is u were nv wif her at all be4... u haf no rite to all that claim...
ur juz darn self-centre....selfish... and i would say evil... fuking retard...
shes had enuff of u and all the things u did... cant u stop already...
all the things u owe her.. the lies...the despicable things u did...
honestly i lost all respect for people like u...
juz stop it already...
if me being around makes ya agitated and unhappy.... well the more i'll be around... i'd rather make a new enemy and svae a fren then sacriface the fren for the sake of saving ya face...
though i'm a third party i dunno anything or i suppose so...
i will not and shall not stand by to see such blasphemy...hopefully i didn;t spell that wrong...
well to my fren... if at anytime i can be of help to any situation... be it physical or juz verbal.. or anything... noe william is always here...if ya ever need...
and i really thank ya for listening and all =) and always being there if i need a listening ear...
thx...
tc ya..looking forward to ya birthday..

okok enuff side track...
okie fine at eski was upset over alot of things.. it juz all crash down on me..
i'm really disappointed wif myself for losing control and becoming wad i became...
useless i am..
but i swear on my very own soul that will change...
i came home... talk to some frens on msn... and well one of them couldn;t reply me...
he left me an email...
i read it this morning...
though last nite i cant rememebr wad i talk to them about.. ..
i read thru.. and went thru some brainstorming..
some things he said was rather rite...
i can die and rot and be miserable all i wan...
but who will care... no one...
yes people will react to u but after days...months or years.. they will juz disappear and forget u...
i hate that idea but thats the truth...
theres also alot of things he said...
it kinda let me noe why his liddat compared to the first time i noe him...
well fren... no matter wad ur trust or beliefs in frens are left.. noe that i'm always true to ya..
i thank u...

as of today... i shall stop all my crap about misery... and juz swallow my sorrow down myself.. if i cant help myself then wad rite do i haf to help my frens...

today... i rotted at home till evening went down to meet my bro arif and group(xanthe, mich, ck, fren,fren,fren) well i remember one of them call you tian(got shop?, or got electricity?)
had dinner at somewhere in marina... well there was a time... during dinner...
there was this gal sitting beside my bro...
quite pretty i would say... but wad took me by surprise...
err i noe it sounds wrong.. but hey i didn;t purposely go see de...
i'm not that kind...
the dress she wore.. kinda looks nice on her... but a person her size.. shes got really prominent err damn man... i dunno wad to say... its not me...
ok fine.. shes got rather big boobs... but err thats not the point...
i juz ignore wad i saw...
then my bro saw her...
then he was like telling me... but his gf beside her...
then we juz change topic and use chicken in replace of person... and relate everything to wad he was eating...
when his gf ask... we said something like oh nothign we were saying the burger probably is breat meat... then overall the burger like impropotionate... the breast meat like bigger then the rest...
LOL
damn funny laugh until stomach ache...
but hey to anyone reading this ... WE ARE NOT PERVERT WHO ALWAYS GO BEO PEOPLE!!!
but to me when someone is pretty i feel its rite to compliment them... the gal was really quite pretty nice features and all...(err i dun mean her middle) aiya nvm the people who read probably already noe wad kind of person i am... i'm not that type...

okok after dinner brought in the cake for mich... belate birthday...
we made her sing birthday song for herslef.. LOL
in different language...

well after all the food we head back... ck keep insist on not wanting to go home early... i think i can read his mind.. he wans to go drink =P
i juz kept quiet...
i tot of going find my fren after her work... but decided not to disturb her..
i think i cause enuff havoc for one nite le..
hahaz..

thats bout it for the two days...

weird thing... today i log in friendster.. and out of instict i tried look for her again...
but failed of coz...
why do i keep thinking bout the things i wanna put behind... if only our minds are like harddisk.. can juz format...
oh i came across some frens de profile...
then kinda regret somethings i nv forfilled..
i see all the people i met at spec course...
now cadet lieutenant le..
i was given that oppotunity... but i let it go... over some reason...
regret so...
when i first came in i wanted to go that far... pursue airborne and diver...
failed... i only reach supernumerary.. and worst juz a specialist only....
i failed the corp..
now that i'm no longer in it... i'm wif the RSN...
i still feel part of the proud NCC (EAST)land
hahaz... sounds corny... but if i could i'd want to live thru the life again..

i think i shld end here...
juz a little something to add...
really glad to see all my frens...again..
over this 2 days.. be it good or bad time..

i will be strong and no longer burden the people around me...

logging..
william

9:32 AM