-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.

Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

3.33am again...
same stime zzz

well not in the best of mood today, alot of things dun feel like writing here...
exams is over more slack le,, but all the more meaningless life gets...
had a nitemare today... when i slpt in the morning...
dream of me dieing really horribly...
kinda like hunted down...
felt like i;ve seen it be4 but i cant recall...
well my frens where in it too... but dun worry they weren;t the one being hunted...
cant really remember.. i dun wanna remember either...
did nothing much today.. rotted...
juz sat quietly infron to my com.. staring... l;istening music.. and more staring...
thinking...

then went my grandparent place...
its lovely to see everyone again...
and well for the first time i seen my baby cousin talk non-stop...
damn cute..
well on my way i was talking to my dad bout some things.. we alwyas talk...
well some things i didn;t quite agree...
and same old things, people will use their age to tell u that u seen nothing yet...
so why muz i be hold down by wad people gone thru?
wad if i chose to belief something more.. want to achieve more...
wads the point of living when everything u do is juz gonna end up the same...
why muz people tell me wad i can do and wad i cant...
yes io noe i;m useless and hopeless adever ya wanna call me...
i got nothing to give nothing to be really proud of...
wasn;t good enuff in the first place.. thats why she left.. least thats wad i concluded...
but still i'm trying to forge my own life here...no matter how impossible...
i feel i can do it.. but who do people insist that it cant be done?
the more they tell me the less i feel motivated.. to do anything at all..
if wad i do is gonna end up the same.. no matter how much i try..
or even if i go else where...
if its all the same then wads the point...
everything i psycho myself to think positive something like this happen...
and the fact that life has not much of a meaning comes back to me...
the main reason why i;m alive right now is becoz of respobsibility, my family and frens.. the people around me.. without them i;d probably end it long ago...
waste of genes...
WAD AM I ACTUCLLY HERE FOR???

for today.. i aint gonan care bout wad i am suppose to psycho myself...
juz not in the mood...
somethings i;m juz so sick of it...

i think i'll end here...
logging...

no matter my mood... its still juz me...
its not about any of u... and it wont affect any of u...
its juz me.. i've got issues alrite...
feel like juz banging my head so hard on the wall and knock myself out tonite...
and no damn ice to make no drink... its gonna be a long nite....

pray tml be a birghter better day,....

feel damn useless... all i noe is to whin here...i haf to think of sumtin to solve all this be4 it gets out of hand... or be4 everyone around me starts to isolate me...
i juz hate losing people and juz hate being alone... the feeling juz sucks

ignore me juz wan to rant everything out... to make my feel better...i'll be fine...

11:31 AM