-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.

Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.

Monday, February 04, 2008

4 in the morning... haiz... really really tired... really tired....
but i still got things to read...
sianz.....
was talking to a fren regarding some things bout him, his family, the discovery and the gov...
haiz... sometimes i just dun get him... if u truely think u deserve sumtin in return the least ya could do is improve urself now so as to be able to better fight the case... nvm i shldn;t talk bout it...

then was talking to another fren... well about a few things.. and one thing he asked randomly...
so asking anyone out this valentines day...
how i wish i could... how i wish i was back... nvm....
well dun think so bahx, even as fren hardly could ask anyone out on the day itself...
well its not true if one got money, one gets people...
well its juz not true...
well i choose to belief that this world isn;t all about money...
it isn;t...
well nvm lets juz dun go into this topic can we....
lets juz say i love/hate this day...
well but hey dun get influence by me or wad.. its juz a personal thing...
u all go enjoy urself on this sweet day ya...

o besides that well was discussing bout some pills..
well worth a try... but lets juz see how well it goes...
lets juz say i think i wanna do it the way i did when i first sign that contract...
i'm really sick of people directly or even indirectly talk bout some things bout me...
i noe already... why do people juz keep bringing it up...
well ok i haf to take note of this agitation of mine...
though it haf nv got out of hand.. but stilll...
well lets juz say i dun wanna offend people neither do i wan it the other way round...
well some things can joke about but some things i prefer not to go into...
hope some people understands that....
i wanna change myself.. i wanna imporve be a better man...
but why do i feel worst and worst the harder i try...

well nvm lets juz put all those aside.. i got a test to study ad i;m already flooded enuff in my puny brain...

well today i head from airport to sch...
had breakfast then head for FNS revision class...
after that.. break till afternoon...
had IPD presentation..
well some thigns i really felt upset about,...
well i noe they are all not bad people and all...
but then juz kinda makes me feel that wadever i done...
i'm judged and well sometimes judged incorrectly..
i tried... and fine some things i really dun really noe...
i prefer to rely on self...
kinda hard to trust my team... niot that they are bad...
well some of my frens took results from the rest and juz use it plain...
thank my fren for acknowledging me...
but still some i dunno... but i did my own work and research how can u say that i merely juz use tools given or even get the password from people be4 i hack...
yes i gave it a tot and adjust accordingly....
but i really juz do it myself...
i used concept and not blind follow...
and i did tried others...
and i use the one given becoz i find it... nvm i dun even wanna bother to give a reason...
well i did wad i wanted and so be it...
if u think or if any of u think that i do it based on others... so be it...
fine i did haf advice from frens...
i'm juz so sick of all this...
like wad a fren of mine said... well even i sumtimes feel like that...
when ur good people flock to u..
when u lack behind u see they flock to others already...
but its okie...
i help out of good will...
it doesn't matter to me...
well at times like this i really juz wanna be alone...
sort of things...(i noe i said this very often) i mean i noe who are my frens and even if i might say something bad about them... do i truely mean it...
so messed up...
i feel something but think otherwise
honestly i feel damn gloomy when i left sch...
not any of thems fault.. its juz me maybe the weather or sumtin,.,..
somethings i feel i think might not be rite... and well nvm... arghh i dunno...
they are good people...
i feel abd saying anything.. but sometimes i do feel things against them,...
i'm bad i'm evil.. alrite...

just feel damn messed up today...

thank goodness after sch i went to meet a fren...a couple of frens...
well they kinda brighten my day abit..
went shopping.. though at times things are rather heated or well juz turned moodless..
juz glad overall it was okie...
really wanna thank them all...
if not i'll really go nuts today... things after things...juz come crashing down on ya...
i need a vacation....

today bought a couple of shirt... for cny,
then had dinner and all, oh and we saw some old faces lol
glad to see them...
anyway... juz wanna say thx for juz getting me out there today...
i need a break.. need slp...
cant memorise anything at all...
get so agitated when people spoke of me like they noe me but then they dun...
they joke about things i take seriously.
they comment about me...
i starting to feel paranoid of the people around me... are they wad they seem ?
some i noe some i dun...
countless times, people u trust turn against u...
that juz suck...
though my fren tells me to juz keep an open mind.. and dun care wad other think of me...
as long as i noe myself...
but i dun that why...
argh... headache...maybe i shld....
screwed... nvm i shld juz end anymore it will all be crap...
im already lost in tots...

be4 i go once again i wanna thank all my frens that brighten my day..
thanks i really appreciate it... time out and relax everyhing aside...
hahaz
zzz
this post is wasted... i pray no one reads.. juz need to rant... been days since i did...

logging..
william
mood: kinda confuss, tired, upset, messedup and lost
dun even noe wad am i doing zzzz

10:53 AM