-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.

Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

hey people.. how u been?
well its first day of chinese new year..
hope everyone is enjoying themself..
well as for me i guess it was okie..
though i really do feel that this time round is really kinda quiet and no mood..
but well i still really love the time wif my family..

kinda woke up early pop 2 pills down,
then went back to slp..
woke up bout 40 min later.. by my dad..
well was kinda feeling a little terrible..
but i guess its juz a short term thing from the pills..
got changed..
then went out wif family le..
well visited some of my relatives..
been awhile i seen them...
well even the topic talked about also change as time pass..
we'r no longer children...
well sadly this year, i'll be visiting fewer relatives than usual.
coz well got people pass away and all that..

well didn't get to see my father side de cousin.
we used to be such good pals and as time pass.. as sch come and go..
the relation become competition...
well least thats wad it looks like..
we used to play and talked everything..
now its usually jzu hi and all that sometime not even hi..
well thank goodness at least i'm pretty okie wif 2 of them... out of three
well by evening.. i head down my grandparent place..
where everyone gathered, and as usual i'm the only guy around as in the teenager/young adult and children...
well it was really nice to see all my cousins there..
on the other hand.. we were so close and all..
adorable!!
looking forward to upcoming baby cousin..
though by the time she understand things i wont be around as much le..
after that went home...
did some web surfing, blog reading and some workout..
well... i really wanna drop my weight.. forcing myself to drop it..
i'm sick of people looking at me and saying things...

anyway.... read thru some old frens blog and well she was going thru some tough time...
kinda hard to imagine.. her now and that time back in the old days..
as a fren i'd tried to at least show my presence let her noe shes still got frens for her..
but then i really dunno why.. people dun even bother bout me?
sometime i tried as much as days to even talk to people and guess wad they dun even reply me?
nvm... doesn;t matter...
i'm juz being a good fren and doing it becoz i noe its the rite thing to do...
think wad u wan...
i noe there are definately people who think of me as sumtin else...
its okie.. i admit.. i'm a beast... an asshole.. a jerk okie...
and i;m hiding in this shell...
i dun wan to become who i was...
good enuff for u?
someone told me the first step to forgiving urself is o admit and talk bout ur problems...
well sadly for me some things juz cant be said...
hahaz nvm...

honestly i'm thinking pretty negative now... but then hey it wont make me do anything foolish ya...
if one wanna change his life totally... how shld he do it? i tried escaping and starting over.. but ur past comes for ya in time..
i wan a break.. a holiday...
anyone wanna go?
=P

tired logging off...
william..
trying to understand some meaning of life... feeling a little lost for words and answer...
but time goes on... life still continue...
shldn't let it affect me... but is that up to me?
=P

once again HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!!
love u all people... i really do...nv regret noeing anyone of u... and will always remember and cherish all of u

10:58 AM