-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.

Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

hmmm 3am again in the morning...
haben slp, dun feel like, cant slp...
my fren demand i go see a doc about it, but i nv really like anything to do with doc...
he say an injection can solve all...
zzz
okie i shall force myself to slp...after this....

noticed a few things..
1. i'm updating overly efficient...
kinda bad at some point...

okok enuff that..

anyway.. once more.. its happy valentines day =)
well though in my previous post i go on about how i dread it and all..
it wasn;t all bad...
a time to show love compassion and cherish the people around u...
well as for me my initial plans was to lock myself at home...
well decided to go to sch to accompany some of my classmate to study...
well aint that bad i guess.. least i could still give my company to another person who wans it..
studied.. from like say 2 all the way till 8
then went down holland village...
well one of them wanted to take the nite off...
so we went holland village de eski..
saw alan there.. and the other gal i cant remember the name..
well as usual i had a graveyard.. been awhile..
and boston ice tea...
i shall skip wad my frens drink.. though eski mojo looks pretty cool wif all the lime and pepermint..

had some fun...
we were in the cold room and well..
talking bout dance..
my my dear fren zw..he demostrated the Melbourne shuffle, the running man and a little of the sea dance..
and my other dear fren norvin did all the RnB dance he learned back in sec sch in the dance club..
had pretty much fun there.. then after that went out.. had a little light dinner...
and mind u graveyard be4 dinner is horrible..
well at that moment.. kinda did something i told myself i wont do it again...
zzz well wad goes wif drinking..?
smoke.. zz well one of them bought a hmm how do u spell that..? nvm.. sumtin ice mint..
well shared wif him..and i noe its bad and all.. and i will not say i'm under influence of alcohol..
and i noe my best fren dun like that..
and i assure u.. i wont do it like everyday.. even my fren dun do it like everyday..
well it juz feels good together wif drinking..
how do u explain that.. erm.. heck nvm... i'm not a good boy alrite.. think wadever u like...
still i cant juz keep wadever i do in me.. keeping one dark secret is bad enuff.. and that one major one is enuff..
so think wad ever u like and if u think i'm wrong.. i ask for ur forgiveness and well i wont pick it up i assure u...

why do i explain myself so much..? well coz i dun wan people to think wrong of me...
but still wad can i do...

then after that went home..

well some tots of today,...
read the newpaper.. and one journalist.. kinda got me on my bad side..
it was about the death of singapores orang utan..
well the way she say it.. makes me feel that shes inhuman..
fine human beings themself has their troubles and flaws.. but still showing affection to a ape is still not wrong.. she did not ask to be treated this way..
so pls be4 u go round critizing it or the people who cried for her..
please give it a second tot and pls juz haf a heart and lay off...

other things.. well valentines day wad do u see everywhere.. couples roses and all..
well some unique dates i seen was a cycling date, very interesting..
well still kinda agitating botu all this but hey dun mind me all u love birds juz carry on.. i got my own issues..

its pretty sweet to see everyone like that.. but this 2 edge sword has its down side..
well all the more i see the more the past came to me..
hahaz.. weird thing.. something my fren told me..
when i told him bout my ex..and my dream the other day,.. dun worry no dirty dream....
well he told me why not date her back..
but hahaz i told him the situation.. and i noe it wont happen..
but then deep inside,.. i tot if only.. hahaz..
well i guess u juz cant cut off ur feelings for someone u cared about so easily?
so love is a very strong emotion.. but many mistaken it wif lust..
the want of owning her.. and all that sort..
love is a feeling where u cared for someone.. like wad my fren said.. its mostly seen in romance movie and novel
but still i belief in everyones heart they yearn for that moment..
and well maybe different from wad u read.. but sometimes its juz the little things that he/she does for u..
its hard to grow to hate someone u cared about u loved..
no matter how u dispose of him/her..
but still if he/she is abusive and takes advantage of u.. screw that.. it better u get a safe distance.. coz thats lust in the action..

enuff bout love.. be it frens love or family or even r/s
the more i talk bout it..the more i yearn for the special someone..
though i doubt that will happen.. treat it like retribution bah hahaz..nvm dun ask why

hmmm something else..
well.. i notice i'm beginning to get down again..
zzz tsk.. blame this useless brain of mine..
well i'd be fine.. not that anyone will care, lol well ur down like most of ur time people juz get used to u..
hahaz
well soemthing i learned.. my life is my own..
i cant expect people to entertain me always..
they haf their own..
i sat there staring into the ceiling
late at nite.. wanting to find someone to talk but then.. theres no one there..
people that came to my mind.. i wanted to sms them..
but then.. decided not to.. i shln;t disturb anyone wif wad i am or wad i go thru..
unfair to them..
lol got to learn to grow up and stand on my own coz the simple fact is no one is there for u.. absolutely no one.. in most case u end up ur own..
but then contradicting wad i say.. i really enjoy helping the people around me..
hahaz..

lol lastly on my way back on the train.. hahz pas redhill and queenstown.. i stare out the whole train.. hoping for a miracle but it didn;t happen.. hahaz
well rite now this instance i tell myself.. its gonna be the last of it... its time i move on seriously...

lol ya noe i shld juz stop updating.. coz i'm seriously wasting peoples time..
zz not that anyone will read..
but still juz need to leave everything away and start new... in this recent weeks i've already said the wrong things, react the wrong way.. well i dunno.. but feel like its beginning to cost the people around me...

then all the more i get time when i seriously feel alone..
talk to people and i get the i dun feel like talking..i geuss people got bad mood?
or worst no reply at all.. i wonder why..kinda miss some frens already.. no word.. not even when i initiate it..

well eevrything aside... time to do well for my exams.. so wad if people around me dun wan me anymore..
i still lives.. not that i can end my life anyway..
i shall juz go about wad i need to do.. and leave everyone alone.. if thats wad they wan... i'm sure they are glad of the peace they get hahaz..

logging william...

" There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
But not for long...

They all deserve to die.
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because in all of the whole human race
Mrs Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two
There's the one they put in his proper place
And the one with his foot in the other one's face
Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.

Now we all deserve to die
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief
For the rest of us death will be a relief
We all deserve to die."

Epiphany - Sweeney Todd

tml will be a better day.. i assure u and i will be better.. else u wont see me again...
tot about the decision i will be making after my 10 years in service. wad will it be like, leaving everything behind.. everything.. for at least 6 year or maybe for the rest of my life... my frens, my family.. my everything.. will people finally cherish me? or wil they even care? i got 10 years to think.. and think i will..
lets try sumtin.. today shall be the last day of feeling down sad and feeling depress... tml will be a better day,.. or i'l force it.. swallowing everything bad in me and nv letting them out ever again i assure u... now someone pls juz let me noe i;m appreciated....

10:58 AM