-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.

Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Today i almost died.....
lets juz say if i juz took one more step... juz one more i would haf died...
at that moment.. well it wasn;t fear or flash of my life coming to me...
its felt more like... embarrassment... in front of everyone...
well i dun noe why,.. but the idea of me dieing like that juz kinda doesn't hit me at all...
like wad my fren say... "u wan die also dun die in front of me mah"
lol at that moment i tot if i had died, its not grieve or wad.. more like guilt.. i caused the person who drove the car to live a life of guilt? thank goodness i didn;t

enuff that..
well went to sch early study and all.. then head over for exams..
that was when i almost died while crossing the road...
was thinking deep in tots.. kinda moody then...
and i didn't notice...

okok my fault...

went for exam..
it was okie i hope...
manage to noe most of the things..
came out... got held up in sch...
then after that went for dinner wif my frens...
went holland village..
wah that group is getting more indecisive more and more...
zzz take damn long to decide things...
we had crystal jade...
well it was late liao so we decided to go meet up another group...
me, zw, nor, wake, yw, ly, weili, jason and xijia i think..
we went to catch L change the world...
pretty nice show i'd say...
made me think of some things... and the things that almost happen to me
well imagine u noe ur gonna die...
and u got limited days left...
wad u gonna do?
well the part that caught me most was.. the end when he said in his heart to watari,
that he wanted to live juz a little bit longer....
well he wrote his own name in the deathnote coz he expected kira to write it...

well everyone here noes that death is imminent...
can happen anytime...
we noe we'r all dead man walking.. but still we dun cherish the things we haf..
the topic death is pretty touchy... can be view positively and negatively...
live and death juz makes no difference...
well wad u think?

ok after that...
we went party world do some singing..
well this is where i feel like why the hell didn;t i study hard for my mother tongue back in sec sch..
well i love singing.. sadly i cant sing for nuts..
no looks to assist it either..
voice is horrible..
and my chinese is cannot make it...
i trying now to learn as many song or word as i can hahaz...

then after that went supper and home.. i didn;t eat.. i rationed..

then thats about it today....

FINALLY EXAM OVER!!!
next big thing is my attachment.. 5-6months...
wah gonna be no life le...
well gonna take this oppotunity to change myself...
both physically, mental and even emotionally...
forceing and surpressing myself from all my tots...
surpressing them so that it wont affect the people around me...
and try to be as positive as i can, or juz at least look like it...
well... i'm really sick of some jokes, comments, and insult i get from people...
well i noe i am that.. all the things ya said.. so be it...
sick of it...
theres a limit to things... well sometimes i try to play along wif u... but i'd appreciate if u control...

well i guess thats about it..

do wad is needed, wad is rite...
and give up on the things that i noe i probably wont be getting in life...
i'm juz meant to be alone... and there to assist people...
wad importantance am i to anyone?beside my family or so i think?

logging william
saw a gal in library today who look damn like my dear fren...
look damn alike..
...

people around me is getting sick of me and my crap...
but i juz cant help it...
but i'm changing...
looking for motivation...someone pls motivate me...

10:32 AM