-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.

Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

seems like alot of people wans me to update =P
hahaz i'm honored..

actuclly i did update but then decided not to post them in the end...

well a little bit about lately...
honestly physically i;m doing pretty well...
currently working out really hard.. i wanna lose more weight...
well strength wise been gaining pretty constantly...
cardio wise and lower body strnegth is still lacking
been hanging out with frens and all...
trying to be on the positive side =)..

mood wise, been rather okie i guess...
some times do blow up all of the sudden...

although i still feel something missing...
like i'm lacking sumtin..
abit purposeless feeling..
and kinda feeling introvert..
like i dun really wanna talk to anyone kinda feeling.. or the no one really bothers feeling so why shld i bother kinda feeling...
well nothing wrong being quiet...
i juz wanna do well in the things i do...
and leave the rest...
i do however still care bout the people close to me...
i worry bout them... even though i noe they are old enuff to look after themself...
its like i really dun wan any bad things to happen to them...
maybe i;m beginning to be paranoid...
=P its somewhat disappoint when ya found out that people ya care about dun even bother bout ya... bout the things ya both been thru...
am i the only one who actuclly treasure the past? hmm well i guess i cant jump to that conclusion...juz becoz afew people...

talking bout frens... lately been worried bout a fren of mine...
constant headache and all...
well get well soon and take care alrite...
shes a really nice person and i wont wan any bad things to happen to her...
wont wan another repeat of wad happen back in year 1..where a happy cheerful person turn into someone who really sad and all that...
hahaz well i noe shes old enuff to look after herself... but still i worry hahaz...

besides that.. some others also sometimes disappoint and upsets me...
oh well... honestly i dunc are anymore.. ya all can think wadever u wan of me...
like as if u noe me... but honestly 3/4 of ya dun even noe me...
i would say only a handful who noes a little more about me...
i mean like even i dun noe myself....
zzz calms down

to my dear fren... sry haben contact ya lately..
hope u are well... i noe a few more weeks u'l be back in sg... i cant wait hahaz...

hmmm some change i notice in myself...
i cut down alot of alcahol, i eat more healthly.. work out more often...
i'm abit too tired to care about alot of things around me...
funny how things can still get to me when i dun even care anymore...
i guess i'm a magnet for crap in life hahaz...

that reminds me today.. this idiot at harbour front really spoiled my mood.. early morning..

i was at cheers.. he queue behind... getitng annoyed and all that pushing me and keep commenting the cashier so slow...
kaoz! if ur so fast go do it urself idiot!! pushing and getting annoyed wont get u anywhere...
i juz stared down at this pityful middle age man whos size looks rather puny...
dun play punk when u urself noe u cant handle it...
he stared at me... i juz said nothing...
honestly i think everyone is annoyed of him..
i pity him... growing so old le still liddat.. childish... brainless and pathetic..
well i comment these becoz i'm prejudice against him? i dun like him... case close...
when i take bus also liddat.. push push...
haiz sg people no wonder cant stand out from the rest of the world...
coz they really sometime too petty in the head...
nvm.. talking further juz spoils my mood further...

i asked myself wad is my puspose in life..
wad do i wanna do..
honestly the things i wanted nv came true...
the things i didn;t expect always happen...
well i think even though at the age of 18 i look at like as an 80 year old marathorn or shorter..
i'm born into this world destined to die..
i ask myself wad can i do out of this stretch of life..
and i cant think of anything...
i used to want to become successful and haf a really loving wife and kids... and all that..
but wad is being successful? it varies with different people...
loving wife.. hmmm well at age 19 i had one terrible r/s and single all the way...
kinda makes me doubt if thats ever gonna happen.. but who noes...
kids.. i love kids... but thats way int he future...
well i think at the moment.. i juz wan to be the best i can be in everything...
or simply put my impossible goal is to be perfect...
in all aspect...

hmm i think i'll end here...
its long enuff for an update after so long...

logging..
william...

7:29 PM