-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.
Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.
+ Cheng Wee Chuan William
+ Yu Neng Primary School
+ Bedok South Secondary School
+ Ngee Ann Polytechnic
+ Republic of Singapore Navy
+ zazooosg@hotmail.com
+ 08/10/1989
+ Libra
Friday, November 06, 2009
its ben really really long, and i guess the people who kept reading my blog probably tot its dead... good thats wad i wanted. some private space for me to flood my tots.
its so fuking frustrating... one bad fell and it fuking ruin my friday and probably sat too... fuk... went all the way down to haf some fucker to order me home or he'll charge me.. worst thing was cant he had put it nicely? like my mdm? its bad enuff i feel like a handicap. i felt i could go on, who is he to say otherwise. honestly i feeling damn rebelious, but noeing the fuck that i am a soldier, i take pride being one. i noe wad i can do and wad i cant even though i wan to. i take instructions whether i like it or not. as long as its lawful. Fuking hell paid 80 dollars for it. waited weeks for it. just to had it all ruined. was hoping to haf some time tgt with my batch gals and boys. some proper chill time. i'm already losing my edge blowing my mind. losing focus... trying my best to keep up. maintain top 2 positions. i already failed. now i go to class feeling like a failure... wad would my superior say after the knockout performance i had be4 i came. they probably think i slacken off.. it probably cost my chance at going degreee and going up me4 even though my name is still in it. its probably just me, i feel my life abit in a mess.. dunno how to go about sorting it. theres juz so many tots.... honestly i'm feeling just like a fren of mine, emo everyday.... but i cant let that show can i? i got a job to do...
i wake up feeling like shit, thru out the day try to make it better it doesn;t really seem to work anyway. honestly i cant even haf a proper conversation in camp. everytime i try to talk, its either the things i talk about they dun noe, not interested or i'm ignored whether on purpose or not. its probably just me. sometimes i really think i'm meant to really be alone. i haf to deal with it. i got plenty of frens.. loads of them, but who actuclly noes me? not more than a handful. i try my best to noe people. but it always turns out wrong. i got people treating me like a bank, people taking advantage of my good will. i feel fuking pissed off but i just couldn;t vent it out. this world is one selfish son of a bitch. people only say things u wanna hear. but how many they mean it? i wonder. everyone is selfish.. admi it... theres only a handful of really nice people. who stubbornly goes around helping when he himself cant really help... i ask myself.. why? ya noe when i was a kid, i always tell myself i wanna be the good guy, helping others at my own good will, trouble myself to ease others problem. stuff like that. but i think i read too much or watch too much fairy tales. in the end its still u alone. came into the world with nothing but urself i probably leave it alone too. i feel fuking fucked up...
fuk it i'm gonna throw my crutches into the storeroom, i'm gonna self heal like i always been doing. i dun believe by tml i cant run... been thru worst...honestly i think next week i;m gonna be in a fuking bad mood....worst than wad i always been....
life is a shit hole.... with a few cosmetic here and there...
end
7:05 AM