-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.

Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

as of today, i'll try to just purely write wad i feel here. and not act up on it in front of people. honestly people in reality they are all the same. they listen to only wad they wan to. no they dun give a shit wad ur going thru or say. they only say they do when the moment they say it affects u directly. well true, maybe i do get moody alot, so much so long till i can do my work and still continue to live and smile. but then wad i feel inside. who the hell noe rite? even if i try to express myself people dun really give a shit. i can only like they say suck thumb. i wan a fren. a companion. someone who think of me when they wanna talk or hang out. someone who think of me not becoz they need my but they wanna noe how am i or wad am i doing or sumtin. everyone or almost everyone say they care, they noe wad i am saying. but do they? no they dun. some people say its they way i talk thats why i'm treated differently. but is it? well maybe i shld juz find a companion who noes me inside out and i can talk everything with them. i have stared into my screen for the past few hours, even taking the initiative to tag on people in facebook. but wad happen. they fucking ignored me, they rather reply their own click then me. i went for a run, i see all the couples old and young. while i have to jog thru the winds alone. for some reason or that reasons i miss my sch days. least i got company around me. i sms people, they give me the crappy reply. they only sms me when they need something from me. i try to talk to people. strike a conversation, they give me the haha oh ok reply or worst simply ignore. wtf am i doing wrong? dun lecture me about wad i shld do or not. wad the diff between me talking about something that happen to me, and i hoped that it interest something or the other person care and give me a reply. and wad other people is going thru the nite be4. its simply put, they are not fucking interested in me or anything with me. i feel like a shell in the world purely empty. one day if i am to die the only people they will give a shit is family. and no one else. i look at things ebing positive. but then reality of the world is juz getting me. i hate this place, my life. even though morally i am to love my life. there are people worst off than me.. i noe... but bad and worst its still not good. they might have it worst, but i;m niot doing any better either. i'm juz crapping my brains out here. i cant even explain wad i'm going thru with words WHO GIVES A SHIT? maybe i shld juz die or sumtin. wad am i living for? my family and a hope that tml will be a better day.. but it always isn;t. if there is a god, pls save me...i do my best for people around me, but no one does anything for me. i gladly let myself be used by others juz for a little feeling of people giving a shit bout me, even though its not real. but juz a short while the feeling i'm happy with it. i feel damn shiity... but life goes on.. sleep and pray tml will be better.

7:21 AM