-i'm.SO.miss-understood. -shikayeproductions.
Sigh....
navigations are the words.
This is my own space to let it out. especially when theres no one to talk to that true understands or try to understand me.
+ Cheng Wee Chuan William
+ Yu Neng Primary School
+ Bedok South Secondary School
+ Ngee Ann Polytechnic
+ Republic of Singapore Navy
+ zazooosg@hotmail.com
+ 08/10/1989
+ Libra
Sunday, May 30, 2010
wad is the purpose of my existence? the reason for being alive? i ask myself that everyday and nite. i always tell myself some reason or excuse..but how true are they?
so far ojt has been good, learned alot of stuff... i do miss my frens though
miss the times we had tgt...
anyway few more weeks to go only...
haha i think i really am begining to be interested in a certain someone...
but well honestly i doubt it end up as anything.
i always get myself in situation like that.
oh well lets not let things get out of hand and ruin relation and things.
focus on work...
well i guess i have low self esteem, and i lost faith in feelings.. i feel just like a lost soul. i am not happy even though there are things to be happy about.
i'm searching for sumtin that is missing that i am not sure wad is it that is lost.
i did a facebook test the other day, it say i am suffering from depression.
but am i? i do feel that way, but then physically i am not. i make sure i;m not.
i make sure i do my work no matter how i feel.
i am responsible for the people i sworn to protect. i cant let my feelings affect that.
right now i am even forcing myself to control my mood. i try not to let wad i feel show. whether is it love, hate sad or depress..
can someone be suffering from depression and not show it?
i cant sleep, i like drinking to rid the soberness off my mind, i whack my body so hard that it hurts for days. i go out spend like crazy just to make myself happy...i talk to myself in my head...i get random mood swings.
honestly i dunno wad i am good for...
it no wonder why she left me.
i was nothing to begin with and i am nothing now even though her very words changed me to who i am today.
haha i'm just crappinh.. haha...
better go and slp or try....
william
9:00 AM